Joined Oct 2003
L10: Grand Master
Forum Thread
Official Funny Spam/Lottery Email Thread
November 7, 2007 at
10:18 AM
in
Humor
Post all notices of winning lottos, or any amusing spam here.
212 Comments
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I'm able to see this as a scam right off the bat, but I'm sure there are alot of people who loose their hard earned money to these %$#$#@#$%.
PLEASE HELP ME AND DROP AN EMAIL (each and every hour on the hour for 20 weeks) TO THESE PEOPLE AND TELL THEM HOW YOU FEEL. JUST THINK IF THEY SCAMMED YOU MOTHER OR FATHER OR YOU--- HOW YOU WOULD FEEL. HELP STOP THESE $#@#$%%%$#$%.
[email protected] (this is the rude emailer and the brains of the scamming outfit I think)
[email protected]
[email protected]
the email address above are of the scammers. The microsoft information below this message may be valid (address and phone number). So i would not snail-mail or call any of those numbers. The scammer could have put valid/true microsoft info in the email incase anyone wanted to see if this was not a scam and this might make it seem real.
eCourier Delivery Cityside House
40 Adler Street
London
E1 1EE
UK Tel: +44 704 574 9106
Fax: +44 870 068 7745 CONGRATULATIONS!!!, You are welcome to eCourier Ltd an affiliate of the Microsoft Promotion. We are pleased to be at your service. eCourier delivery is Regulated and Stipulated by the Financial Service Authority (FSA), the financial institutions that Govern all Financial activities in the United Kingdom. Your particulars have been received in this office. This means that you have been officially cleared for payment by the Verifications Department of the Microsoft Office UK.Your winning cheque, original copy of your winning certificate, together with a covering document (Money Laundering protection and Letter of Affidavit for Claims) from the British government stating that the money was obtained legally through Microsoft promotion will be sent to you as soon as you choose from any of the option stipulated below.
To begin the final step of the claims process, which is the shipment of your winning cheque to you. With regards to this, there are three options open to you, you are required to select the most convenient of the three.
The options, together with their associated conditions are presented below: You are required to pay the necessary courier charges to enable us send you your cheque and other claim documents.
Shipping your winning cross cheque to you via any of this channel listed below: First Class Delivery Within 48hrs Mailing 264 .00
Insurance 130 .00
Vat (5%) 86 .00
TOTAL 480 .00
Dollar Equivalent is $973.017 USD Premium Delivery Within 72hrs Mailing 225 .00
Insurance 130 .00
Vat (5%) 86 .00
TOTAL 441 .00
Dollar equivalent is $893.909 USD Economic Delivery Within 90hrs Mailing 175 .00
Insurance 130 .00
Vat (5%) 86 .00
TOTAL 391 .00
Dollar equivalent is $792.551 USD You are to furnish us with a scanned copy of your most recent identification preferably a copy of your international passport or drivers licence or any other Government Identification which you will present to our staffs at the point of delivery.
This company decline reverse payment for these charges, stating that it is against our professional policy towards ensuring the safe delivery of the cheque to you. That if a reverse payment is made, and something goes wrong, that we/you cannot sue the courier company or insurance company to recover the full value of the fund as stipulated in the cheque since payment for insurance cover was not made at point of mailing. With the above reason, reverse payment is ruled out. Hence, payment on COD (Cost on delivery) is not allowed.
This is in accordance with section 13(1)(n) of the national gambling act as adopted in 1993 and amended on 3RD July 1996 by the constitutional assembly.This is to protect winners and to avoid misappropriation of funds. Send your response to indicate your option, because you only have 14 working days to claim this cheque and after this period, your cash prize will be deemed to have been forfeited by you and will be returned to source in order to be reused in the drawings of the next edition of the promotion. Once again, congratulations.
Regards, Mr. Kelvin SmithOvernight & International Delivery Officer 2008 eCouriers Ltd
Microsoft Promotion
20 Craven Park, Harlesden
London NW10
United Kingdom Tel: +44 701 112 1415Fax: +44 870 471 4088 Dear xxxxxxxx, I am Mr. Phill Williams, I have been assigned by Microsoft Promotion to process your payment file of the sum of 1,000, 000.00 (One Million Great Britain Pounds) jackpot . I wish to congratulate you on your winnings. The winning information presented by you has been verified and i must say that you should count yourself extremely lucky to have emerged as one of our winners in this years lucky dip sweepstakes. As you already know your email address was randomly selected along with others from over 100,000 websites on the internet. Each email address was attached to a ticket number. Your email address was selected along with Ten others as winners. A certificate of prize claims and some vital documents will be sent along side your winnings cheque. The documents to be sent are; Winning cheque (Cashier's cheque), original copy of your winning certificate and Money Laundering protection/Letter of Affidavit for Claims. Your prize will be remitted in a cashier's Cheque (check) Contact our delivery department with the contact information below for further instructions on how to send the package to your location. Please you should also send a Personal Information to the Courier Department to authenticate your lottery winnings through via email. 1, Reference Number
2, Batch Number
3, Full Names
4, A medium of identification, that is either a copy of drivers license or international passport or any other legal means of identification.
5, Mailing Address, that is a physical address where you want your parcel delivered.
6, Amount Won.
7, Contact Phone Numbers. Below is the name of the Courier Company you are to forward your data to: DELIVERY DEPARTMENT. eCourier Delivery Company. London - UK
Tel: +44 704 574 9106
Fax: +44 870 471 4089Email: [email protected] Contact person:
Mr. Kelvin Smith
Director of Overnight & International Delivery
eCouriers Delivery I will require a concise update on proceedings with the firm as soon as you are in contact with them. If you need any assistance whatsoever, please do not hesitate to let me know. Note: That this mail has to be kept confidential by you for security reasons until your winning cheque has been remitted to you by the courier company. Regards, Mr. Phill Williams Dispatch OfficerMicrosoft PromotionConfidentiality Notice: Make every e-mail and IM count. Join the i'm Initiative from Microsoft.
Microsoft Promotion
20 Craven Park, Harlesden
London NW 10, UK
Ref: TRG/4335534
Batch: 65443334
Dear Winner,
WINNING NOTIFICATION!!!
Microsoft and AOL has set out and successfully organized a Sweepstakes marking this year anniversary, the selection was made randomly from World Wide Web site through a computer
draw system extracted from over 100,000 individuals and
companies, attaching email addresses to ticket numbers.
Your email address as indicated was drawn and attached to ticket number
09938676255 with serial numbers KIT/6635552627 and drew the lucky
numbers 646473-554368-393876-87345 which subsequently won you 1,000,000.00(One
Million Great Britain Pounds) as one of the 10 jackpot winners in this draw.
This draws was conducted in London, Uk on the 25th of May 2008.
Contact your designated agent who shall guide you through
the process to facilitate the release of your prize.
To file for your claim, please contact our fiduciary agent
and Provide him with the information below:
1.Full Name:
2.Marital Status:
4.Occupation:
5.Age:
6.Sex:
7.Nationality:
8.Country Of Residence:
9.Draw Number above:
Mr. Phill Williams
Email: [email protected]
Microsoft Promotion
That way your Winning Cheque, Winnings Certificate and all other relevant
documents/paperwork can be prepared for you. Note that all prize funds must
be claimed not later than two weeks. After this date all funds will be
returned to the MICROSOFT TREASURY as unclaimed. In order to avoid
unnecessary delays and complications, please endeavour to quote your
Reference Number (Ref: XXXXXXXX) and Batch number (XXXXXXX) in every
correspondence with your agent.
Thank you for being part of our this Year's commemorativeAnniversary Draws.
Sincerely,
Dr. Bryan McDonald
Microsoft Promotion Team
Hello,
The tractor is in perfect condition. The amount you will have to pay in order to own this tractor is $3,800 with shipping costs and insurance included. It's perfect in every way. The tractor is at shipping center from San Jose/CA. It sealed and ready to be shipped. Shipping to your location will be made through DAS, the eBay shipping company and will be take 3 days. They will handle the transaction for me.
Make: Kubota
Model: BX24
Year: 2006
Serial Number: 50911
Hours: 40
Drive: 4WD
Fuel: Diesel
Engine Cylinders: 3
Engine HP: 23
You will make the payment to eBay and they will hold the money until you receive the tractor. ONLY AFTER you will receive and test for 10 days the tractor, eBay will release the money to me. This way we are both protected.
I just finished the divorce process with my husband and as a single woman I don't need this tractor. Now I am in Portugal/Europe at my parents. Right now I am in Lisbon.
I am in a wheel-chair. It was an accident two years ago. In fact this is the divorce reason. My husband told me that he want a young and healthy woman because I have 35 years and he don't need me anymore.
You will also receive all the documentation required for registration. I will send you all the papers and documents. Since it is on eBay I have to make the transaction through them.
For I can start the deal at eBay I need your full name and shipping address. I'll wait your decision regarding my tractor as soon as possible.
Looking forward to hear from you,
Veronica Martinez
Rua das Janelas Verdes, 47 1200-690 Lisbon, Portugal
From: "Texaco Oil Award Grant/Donation" Add sender to Contacts
To: undisclosed-recipients
Texaco Oil Foundation UK Head Office
7 Bloomsbury Square
London WC1J 2CL
United Kingdom
Date: August 8, 2008
Qualification Numbers
Dear Selected Grant Beneficiary,
To celebrate the 10th year anniversary of Texaco Oil Foundation and
achievement programme, The Texaco Oil Foundation in conjunction with the
United Nations Organization (UNO) and the European Union (EU) is giving
out a yearly Donation of 1,000,000.00 (One Million United Kingdom Pounds
Sterling's) to 10 lucky recipients each.
You have been nominated as one of the selected beneficiaries of this years
grant award. To claim your donation grant, you are requested to fill in
the information below and submit to Mr Smith Jackson with contact
information provided below
======================================
Claims Requirements:
1. Name in full----- 2. Address-----------------
3. Sex------------ 4. Nationality/Religion--------
5. Marital Status----- 6. Age --------
7. Next Of Kin-------- 8. Occupation---------
9. Phone/Fax---------- 10. Present Country---
==========================================
Executive Secretary-: Mr. Donald Peterson
Tell: +44(703)1946597.
Fax: +44(870) 479 3386.
Email:[email protected]
--
Esta mensagem foi verificada pelo sistema de antivus e
acredita-se estar livre de perigo.
I mean it wouldnt be so bad to give them my next of kins info right?
I'm against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG.
Instead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a We
Deserve It Dividend.
To make the math simple, let's assume there are 200,000,000 bona fide
U.S. Citizens 18+.
Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and
child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up...
So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billion that equals $425,000.00.
My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a We Deserve It
Dividend.
Of course, it would NOT be tax free. So let's assume a tax rate of 30%.
Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes. That sends
$25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.
But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket.
A husband and wife have $595,000.00.
What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?
Pay off your mortgage - housing crisis solved.
Repay college loans - what a great boost to new grads
Put away money for college - it'll be there
Save in a bank - create money to loan to entrepreneurs.
Buy a new car - create jobs
Invest in the market - capital drives growth
Pay for your parent's medical insurance - health care improves
Ena ble Deadbeat Dads to come clean
Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks who
lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is
cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.
If we're going to re-distribute wealth let's really do it...instead of
trickling out a puny $1000.00 ( 'vote buy' ) economic incentive that is
being proposed by one of our candidates for President.
If we're going to do an $85 billion bailout, let's bail out every adult
US Citizen 18+!
As for AIG - liquidate it. Sell off its parts.
Let American General go back to being American General.
Sell off the real estate.
Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.
Here's my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn't.
Sure it's a crazy idea that can 'never work.'
But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party!
How do you spell Economic Boom?
I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion.
We Deserve a Dividend more than do the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC.
And remember, The Birk plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because
$25.5 Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.
repost and $85 billion = $425 per adult, not $425,000
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From: Minister of the Treasury Paulson
Subject: Request for urgent confidential business relationship
Dear American: I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude. I am minister of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of US$700bn. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you. This transaction is 100 per cent safe. This is a matter of great urgency.
We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as next of kin so the funds can be transferred. Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to [email protected] so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction.
After I receive that information I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
Yours faithfully, Minister of Treasury Paulson, Nigeria, Washington DC
Code Num: (***-101)
Congratulations as we bring to your notice. The Office of the senate house has
chosen you by the board of trustees as one of the final recipients of this year
promotion cash Grant/Donation to celebrate the 30th anniversary celebration. We
are giving out a yearly donation Value of {$1.5 MILLION} USD to 12 lucky
recipients as this Year promotion from the W.H.O, UN, and the EU in accordance
with the enabling act of Parliament. Fill out below information and send it to the
International Monetary Funds Department Payment Center Via email contact below:
1. Full Name:....... 2. Address:........ 3. Nationality:.........
4. Age:.......... 5. Sex:.......... 6. Occupation:..........
7. Phone/Fax:......... 8. Present Country:...........
Contact Person:
Mr. Brown Lawrence
E-mail: [email protected]
Your Faithfully,
Martin Jyoti
I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel.
Or have them put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.
I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking ones nose.
Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only
imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.
I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the
floor of a public bathroom.
I must send my special thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.
Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258 Th time.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible
mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I won't touch margarine, as it is just one molecule away from being plastic.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains, nor do I drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans.
I can no longer buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the
microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
Neither will I go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are
actually Al Qaeda in disguise..
I won't shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore , and Uzbekistan .
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
Thanks to you, I can't use anyones toilet but my own because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.
And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the
brown recluse and my hand will fall off.
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 14,000 people in the next 14 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM tomorrow afternoon and the fleas from 1,000 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...
Have a wonderful day....
Oh, by the way.....A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.
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