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Fark My Life

26,668 2,340 February 12, 2009 at 05:35 AM in Humor (2)
http://www.fmylife.com/
Quote :
Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired.
Quote :
Today, I accidentally kicked a child down a set of steps. I work in a kids play area.
Quote :
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He responded with "Who the hell are you?"
Quote :
Today, I cut myself of a bandaid box, while trying to get a bandaid out for another cut.
Crylol Roll Rofl2 LMAO laugh out loud
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Joined Aug 2008
Eating up debt, nom nom.
> bubble2 3,592 Posts
2,920 Reputation
cookiemonster.
03-28-2009 at 09:48 PM.
03-28-2009 at 09:48 PM.
Quote from iconian :
going to bed ladies

goodnight!
Nite hug
Don't fall asleep on top of the pineapples Big Grin
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Joined Oct 2006
Freak On A Leash
> bubble2 3,781 Posts
2,418 Reputation
Princess Crunch
03-28-2009 at 09:53 PM.
03-28-2009 at 09:53 PM.
Quote from iconian :
going to bed ladies

goodnight!
G'nite. Blowkiss
Reply
Joined Apr 2006
World dominator and rebel
> bubble2 41,453 Posts
4,437 Reputation
SDRebel
03-30-2009 at 01:33 PM.
03-30-2009 at 01:33 PM.
Quote :
Today, I was at Costco doing my grocery shopping. I noticed a little boy looking at me curiously, but decided to ignore it. My beeper started going off, and the boy yelled loudly, "Look out, she's backing up!" FML
Cruel, but I loved it!
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Joined Aug 2006
L8: Grand Teacher
> bubble2 3,085 Posts
859 Reputation
#sevenstinks
03-30-2009 at 01:45 PM.
03-30-2009 at 01:45 PM.
I am now totally addicted to this website. I check it daily and am so disappointed when there is only a few new ones.

Between onesentence dot org and this one I know I waste at least an hour a day.
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Joined Jul 2005
Scarydevil Monastery
> bubble2 26,668 Posts
2,340 Reputation
Original Poster
veritablequandary
03-30-2009 at 04:10 PM.
03-30-2009 at 04:10 PM.
Quote from #sevenstinks :
I am now totally addicted to this website. I check it daily and am so disappointed when there is only a few new ones.

Between onesentence dot org and this one I know I waste at least an hour a day.
Mad You're supposed to start with "Today," and end with "FML" Mad
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Joined Apr 2006
World dominator and rebel
> bubble2 41,453 Posts
4,437 Reputation
SDRebel
03-30-2009 at 09:01 PM.
03-30-2009 at 09:01 PM.
Quote from #sevenstinks :
I am now totally addicted to this website. I check it daily and am so disappointed when there is only a few new ones.

Between onesentence dot org and this one I know I waste at least an hour a day.
Iagree
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Joined Oct 2006
Freak On A Leash
> bubble2 3,781 Posts
2,418 Reputation
Princess Crunch
04-05-2009 at 08:20 PM.
04-05-2009 at 08:20 PM.
Quote :
Today, my boyfriend was in the shower, and I decided to go join him. I took all my clothes off and stepped into the bathroom. I slipped on some water, and ended up hitting my head on the toilet and passing out. When I came to, I saw my boyfriend's dad looking over me in his towel. Wrong person. FML
OMG LMAO
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Joined Dec 2006
L6: Expert
> bubble2 1,903 Posts
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Billiam411
04-05-2009 at 08:36 PM.
04-05-2009 at 08:36 PM.
Quote :
Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, "Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose?" Her mother then replied, "Because her parents don't love her." FML.
Bigeye laugh out loud
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Joined Oct 2006
Freak On A Leash
> bubble2 3,781 Posts
2,418 Reputation
Princess Crunch
04-05-2009 at 08:40 PM.
04-05-2009 at 08:40 PM.
Roll that's so mean!
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Joined Aug 2008
Booyaka!
> bubble2 255 Posts
329 Reputation
besthijacker
04-05-2009 at 09:01 PM.
04-05-2009 at 09:01 PM.
Ohhh my! I spilled my beer while reading some of these

Quote :
Today, I slept over at my boyfriend's house and he offered to give me a massage, as he'd found a book on sensual massage and wanted to test it out on me. When he went to the bathroom, I found the book open on his desk- at "Massage to eliminate cellulite". FML
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Joined Feb 2006
R U an ultracrepidarian?
> bubble2 74,137 Posts
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Pro
Sr. Deal Editor
iconian | Staff
04-05-2009 at 09:05 PM.
04-05-2009 at 09:05 PM.
Quote :
Today, completely nude, I had to collect my clothes around the boys apartment I have been sleeping with for awhile. While his girlfriend watched to make sure I got the fark out. FML
Crylol
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Joined Oct 2006
Freak On A Leash
> bubble2 3,781 Posts
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Princess Crunch
04-05-2009 at 09:11 PM.
04-05-2009 at 09:11 PM.
Rofl2
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Joined Jun 2006
Jambi-rific in Seattle!
> bubble2 31,436 Posts
2,810 Reputation
Zoe Moon
04-06-2009 at 11:08 AM.
04-06-2009 at 11:08 AM.
EEK!
Quote :
Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML
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Joined Apr 2006
World dominator and rebel
> bubble2 41,453 Posts
4,437 Reputation
SDRebel
04-06-2009 at 07:38 PM.
04-06-2009 at 07:38 PM.
Quote :
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we weere joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
EEK!
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Joined Nov 2008
One Deal At a Time
> bubble2 642 Posts
568 Reputation
xIncognito
04-06-2009 at 08:15 PM.
04-06-2009 at 08:15 PM.
I love this website whenever I think life sucks Smilie
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