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Fark My Life

26,668 2,340 February 12, 2009 at 05:35 AM in Humor (2)
http://www.fmylife.com/
Quote :
Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired.
Quote :
Today, I accidentally kicked a child down a set of steps. I work in a kids play area.
Quote :
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He responded with "Who the hell are you?"
Quote :
Today, I cut myself of a bandaid box, while trying to get a bandaid out for another cut.
Crylol Roll Rofl2 LMAO laugh out loud
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Joined Dec 2006
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> bubble2 1,903 Posts
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Billiam411
04-17-2009 at 12:18 PM.
04-17-2009 at 12:18 PM.
Quote :
Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML
laugh out loud
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Last edited by Billiam411 April 17, 2009 at 12:20 PM.
Joined Jul 2005
Scarydevil Monastery
> bubble2 26,668 Posts
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Original Poster
veritablequandary
04-17-2009 at 12:19 PM.
04-17-2009 at 12:19 PM.
Quote from Billiam411 :
Quote :
Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML
laugh out loud
Rofl2 Well, it IS all warm and cozy in there, and you can't really do anything except think about 13 from House while you're laying there for 45 minutes...
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Joined Sep 2006
IVIodel citizen
> bubble2 19,431 Posts
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Fallacy
04-17-2009 at 01:17 PM.
04-17-2009 at 01:17 PM.
Quote :
Today, I found out my angry ex girlfriend put Nair in my shampoo before moving out of my dorm. I'm now balding at 19. FML
That's a great idea.
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Joined Feb 2006
R U an ultracrepidarian?
> bubble2 74,140 Posts
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Sr. Deal Editor
iconian | Staff
04-18-2009 at 12:30 AM.
04-18-2009 at 12:30 AM.
Quote :
Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not the norm in Peru. Several minutes after sitting down, I felt something on my shoulder. Thinking it was a hand, I turned my head to look. I came face to face with a dirty man's crotch, it was his erection resting on my shoulder. FML
vomit
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Joined Jan 2008
L10: Grand Master
> bubble2 7,328 Posts
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BayArea
04-18-2009 at 12:37 AM.
04-18-2009 at 12:37 AM.
Quote from iconian :
vomit
Rofl2
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Joined Mar 2008
doin' what i wanna do
> bubble2 3,441 Posts
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luckykitti
04-18-2009 at 08:09 AM.
04-18-2009 at 08:09 AM.
Quote :
Today, I thought it would be funny to fart in my roommates mouth while he was asleep. I walked over to him and pulled my pyjamas down and let loose. To my surprise it was a very wet one and I accidently took a dump on his face, he woke up and beat me until I was bleeding. FML
Sick
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Joined Dec 2006
L6: Expert
> bubble2 1,903 Posts
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Billiam411
04-19-2009 at 09:30 PM.
04-19-2009 at 09:30 PM.
not "bad" but very ironic:
Quote :
Today, is my 21st birthday. I get home after my night out and walk into the garage to see a 2002 Red Corvette convertible. I run up to the car thinking its a gift and there's a note: "Dani this is not your birthday present. Quit drooling on my car. -Dad" Thanks Dad. FML
I know a girl named dani, whos 21st birthday is today (sunday, the day that fml was written) and her facebook status was "___ always imagined this going a little differently..." 1:00am Bigeye
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Last edited by Billiam411 April 19, 2009 at 09:34 PM.

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Joined Oct 2003
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> bubble2 32,523 Posts
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arjunsr
04-19-2009 at 09:59 PM.
04-19-2009 at 09:59 PM.
a lot of the ones today were from bash or obvious fakes. why even bother?
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Joined Aug 2006
Two of a kind.
> bubble2 3,959 Posts
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Norgechica
04-22-2009 at 01:41 PM.
04-22-2009 at 01:41 PM.
Quote :
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Rofl2
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Joined Sep 2006
IVIodel citizen
> bubble2 19,431 Posts
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Fallacy
04-22-2009 at 01:42 PM.
04-22-2009 at 01:42 PM.
Quote from Norgechica :
Rofl2
Isn't that an old one?
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Joined Aug 2006
Two of a kind.
> bubble2 3,959 Posts
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Norgechica
04-22-2009 at 01:54 PM.
04-22-2009 at 01:54 PM.
Quote from IVIax :
Isn't that an old one?
Nono It's from last Friday. Dontknow
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Joined Sep 2006
IVIodel citizen
> bubble2 19,431 Posts
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Fallacy
04-24-2009 at 11:20 AM.
04-24-2009 at 11:20 AM.
Quote :
Today, I was studying for a midterm, so I put my computer on the side of my desk to make more room for my books. My roommate came in while I wasn't paying attention and tackle-hugged me from behind - I fell over, knocking my computer out the window. I live on the 8th floor. FML
Roll
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Joined Aug 2006
Two of a kind.
> bubble2 3,959 Posts
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Norgechica
04-28-2009 at 01:21 PM.
04-28-2009 at 01:21 PM.
Quote :
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
Rofl2
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Joined Jun 2004
This Space Available
> bubble2 31,118 Posts
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vec
04-28-2009 at 01:46 PM.
04-28-2009 at 01:46 PM.
Quote from arjunsr :
a lot of the ones today were from bash or obvious fakes. why even bother?
I don't mind, as long as they are a well written story.
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Joined Jun 2006
Jambi-rific in Seattle!
> bubble2 31,436 Posts
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Zoe Moon
04-28-2009 at 02:18 PM.
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