Slickdeals is community-supported.  We may get paid by brands for deals, including promoted items.
Forum Thread

Fark My Life

26,668 2,340 February 12, 2009 at 05:35 AM in Humor (2)
http://www.fmylife.com/
Quote :
Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired.
Quote :
Today, I accidentally kicked a child down a set of steps. I work in a kids play area.
Quote :
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He responded with "Who the hell are you?"
Quote :
Today, I cut myself of a bandaid box, while trying to get a bandaid out for another cut.
Crylol Roll Rofl2 LMAO laugh out loud

371 Comments

Your comment cannot be blank.

Sign up for a Slickdeals account to remove this ad.

Joined Nov 2003
Double Staff Oreos
> bubble2 26,891 Posts
2,390 Reputation
Global Mod
rayzac | Staff
05-08-2009 at 06:28 AM.
05-08-2009 at 06:28 AM.
Today, I found out that the guy i've been having sex with for over a month didn't know my name until today. No wonder he always ever called me 'baby.' FML

Delores!
Reply
Joined Jun 2005
L6: Laser Lotus
> bubble2 21,654 Posts
1,405 Reputation
shhaggy
05-11-2009 at 09:11 AM.
05-11-2009 at 09:11 AM.
Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML
Reply
Joined Apr 2006
World dominator and rebel
> bubble2 41,453 Posts
4,437 Reputation
SDRebel
05-11-2009 at 08:35 PM.
05-11-2009 at 08:35 PM.
Quote from IVIax :
Wasn't there a thread on SDs about this? Confused Confused Confused
yes, there was, I remember. I think the cop said the person that was hit was at fault. F their life laugh out loud
Reply
Joined Mar 2008
doin' what i wanna do
> bubble2 3,441 Posts
1,055 Reputation
luckykitti
05-11-2009 at 10:38 PM.
05-11-2009 at 10:38 PM.
Today, I went to the doctor. I had a spider bite that had been getting progressively larger for days. I had been putting Neosporin on underneath the bandage that was on it. The doctor saw my wound and laughed. He said the spider bite was no big deal, but that I was allergic to the Neosporin. FML


look around look around




Hide
Reply
Joined Mar 2008
doin' what i wanna do
> bubble2 3,441 Posts
1,055 Reputation
luckykitti
05-11-2009 at 10:43 PM.
05-11-2009 at 10:43 PM.
Today, is the day my husband was supposed to come home from a six month tour at sea. I heard the door bell ring. I sprinted to the door expecting to hold my honey bear, instead two uniformed sailors with a folded flag greeted me. I burst into tears. My husband walked up behind me. He laughed. FML



Bigeye do soldiers really do that Mad
Reply
Joined Nov 2004
Wuzzy's Best Friend
> bubble2 49,369 Posts
4,854 Reputation
Pro
Staff
Autumn | Staff
05-12-2009 at 01:02 AM.
05-12-2009 at 01:02 AM.
Quote from luckykitti :
Today, I went to the doctor. I had a spider bite that had been getting progressively larger for days. I had been putting Neosporin on underneath the bandage that was on it. The doctor saw my wound and laughed. He said the spider bite was no big deal, but that I was allergic to the Neosporin. FML


look around look around




Hide
laugh out loud
Reply
Joined Nov 2004
Wuzzy's Best Friend
> bubble2 49,369 Posts
4,854 Reputation
Pro
Staff
Autumn | Staff
05-12-2009 at 01:06 AM.
05-12-2009 at 01:06 AM.
Quote from luckykitti :
Today, is the day my husband was supposed to come home from a six month tour at sea. I heard the door bell ring. I sprinted to the door expecting to hold my honey bear, instead two uniformed sailors with a folded flag greeted me. I burst into tears. My husband walked up behind me. He laughed. FML



Bigeye do soldiers really do that Mad
Ooooh Hell...I would have kicked his ass...glad he wasn't dead though.
Reply

Sign up for a Slickdeals account to remove this ad.

Joined Jun 2004
L10: Grand Master
> bubble2 27,801 Posts
541 Reputation
Pig
05-12-2009 at 06:07 AM.
05-12-2009 at 06:07 AM.
Today, I had a weird dream - it was really sad and I was getting pwned pretty badly. What was even more weird was that I also dreamt that I FML'ed that whole incident! FML
Reply
Joined Aug 2006
L8: Grand Teacher
> bubble2 3,085 Posts
859 Reputation
#sevenstinks
05-12-2009 at 06:11 AM.
05-12-2009 at 06:11 AM.
Quote from shhaggy :
Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML
laugh out loud laugh out loud laugh out loud

Quote from luckykitti :
Today, is the day my husband was supposed to come home from a six month tour at sea. I heard the door bell ring. I sprinted to the door expecting to hold my honey bear, instead two uniformed sailors with a folded flag greeted me. I burst into tears. My husband walked up behind me. He laughed. FML

Bigeye do soldiers really do that Mad
What an a$$. He would of been dead after he pulled this stunt.
Reply
Joined Mar 2008
doin' what i wanna do
> bubble2 3,441 Posts
1,055 Reputation
luckykitti
05-14-2009 at 10:24 AM.
05-14-2009 at 10:24 AM.
Today, I am wearing a panda suit for the promotion of the restaurant I work at. FML
#1925712 (95) - 05/14/2009 at 8:40am by Anonymous - work - I agree, your life is f***ed (5580) - you deserved that one (1548)

ShareThis

Today, I stayed up all night to study for my anatomy final at 9 a.m. I studied outside the testing room in the hall all night. Apparently I feel asleep with my headphones as my friend woke me up after walking out of the test asking how I did. 300 classmates walked by and no one woke me up. FML
#1923486 (62) - 05/14/2009 at 3:51am by peoplesuck - misc - I agree, your life is f***ed (7884) - you deserved that one (1638)

ShareThis

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'farkER'. FML
#1923265 (73) - 05/14/2009 at 3:23am by Flicker - misc - I agree, your life is f***ed (7319) - you deserved that one (467)

ShareThis

Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. Trying to be romantic, I told him that I loved him and I was so glad I was with him. He responded by giving me a thumbs-up and turning back to the TV. FML
#1922791 (67) - 05/14/2009 at 2:48am by KarolBee - love - I agree, your life is f***ed (8609) - you deserved that one (987)

ShareThis

Today, I drove home in my brand new car for the first time, hoping to surprise my girlfriend. She comes out the house laughing, saying how funny it was and how I look like a 'twollop' in it. Then in all seriousness she asked me when I was getting my 'actual car' back from the garage. FML
#1922061 (43) - 05/14/2009 at 2:07am by Badnewca - misc - I agree, your life is f***ed (7162) - you deserved that one (776)

ShareThis

Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML
#1918683 (66) - 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm by chelserusera - kids - I agree, your life is f***ed (10467) - you deserved that one (928)

ShareThis

Today, I was accepted to Harvard's law program. Prestigious right? After hearing the good news the only thing my parents talked about over dinner was who they wanted to win American Idol: Adam, Kris or Danny. FML
#1916731 (105) - 05/13/2009 at 8:59pm by NoComparison - misc - I agree, your life is f***ed (10468) - you deserved that one (739)

ShareThis

Today, I was wearing my new sunglasses while watching a basketball game. A pretty hot looking girl was sitting a few spots next to me so I stared at her breasts. A few minutes later, I looked up at her face and she was looking at me in disgust. It turns out that my sunglasses were see through. FML
#1912773 (96) - 05/13/2009 at 7:26pm by rackman007 - misc - I agree, your life is f***ed (823) - you deserved that one (14767)

ShareThis

Today, I finally beat the song "Through the Fire and Flames" on Guitar Hero 3. I then realized that it was the biggest accomplishment I've ever made in my entire life. FML
#1909780 (187) - 05/13/2009 at 6:20pm by Nick - misc - I agree, your life is f***ed (18470) - you deserved that one (11990)

ShareThis

Today, I had a really bad day at work and the only thing that was getting me through the day was the idea of taking a nice, hot, relaxing bath. When I got to my front door there was a shut off notice from the gas company. I won't be taking any hot baths until I come up with the $500 bill. FML
#1908425 (63) - 05/13/2009 at 5:44pm by director416 - money - I agree, your life is f***ed (7349) - you deserved that one (15523)

ShareThis

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. That's when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play "connect the dots" with my acne. FML
#1905564 (134) - 05/13/2009 at 4:15pm by Anonymous - misc - I agree, your life is f***ed (16296) - you deserved that one (6564)

ShareThis

Today, I was going through my moms closet. On one of the shelves, I found two baby books. One was mine, the other was one for a dog she owned before I was born. I looked through them both. The dog's baby book was filled out more than mine was. FML
#1905571 (69) - 05/13/2009 at 4:15pm by stickers - kids - I agree, your life is f***ed (16912) - you deserved that one (979)

ShareThis

Today, I decided to shave my legs completely to be more confident in my dress. I spent over an hour making sure my legs were perfectly shaved. It wasn't until I had been out awhile that I realized I forgot to shave my armpits. FML
#1904436 (129) - 05/13/2009 at 3:39pm by Anonymous - misc - I agree, your life is f***ed (7855) - you deserved that one (19406)

ShareThis


just posted this for the poster who cant get the website on their computer High Five
Reply
Joined Apr 2006
World dominator and rebel
> bubble2 41,453 Posts
4,437 Reputation
SDRebel
05-17-2009 at 08:09 PM.
05-17-2009 at 08:09 PM.
Quote from luckykitti :
Today, is the day my husband was supposed to come home from a six month tour at sea. I heard the door bell ring. I sprinted to the door expecting to hold my honey bear, instead two uniformed sailors with a folded flag greeted me. I burst into tears. My husband walked up behind me. He laughed. FML



Bigeye do soldiers really do that Mad
nod that was so cruel

Quote from luckykitti :
Today, I am wearing a panda suit for the promotion of the restaurant I work at. FML
#1925712 (95) - 05/14/2009 at 8:40am by Anonymous - work - I agree, your life is f***ed (5580) - you deserved that one (1548)

ShareThis

Today, I stayed up all night to study for my anatomy final at 9 a.m. I studied outside the testing room in the hall all night. Apparently I feel asleep with my headphones as my friend woke me up after walking out of the test asking how I did. 300 classmates walked by and no one woke me up. FML
#1923486 (62) - 05/14/2009 at 3:51am by peoplesuck - misc - I agree, your life is f***ed (7884) - you deserved that one (1638)

ShareThis

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'farkER'. FML
#1923265 (73) - 05/14/2009 at 3:23am by Flicker - misc - I agree, your life is f***ed (7319) - you deserved that one (467)

ShareThis

Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. Trying to be romantic, I told him that I loved him and I was so glad I was with him. He responded by giving me a thumbs-up and turning back to the TV. FML
#1922791 (67) - 05/14/2009 at 2:48am by KarolBee - love - I agree, your life is f***ed (8609) - you deserved that one (987)

ShareThis

Today, I drove home in my brand new car for the first time, hoping to surprise my girlfriend. She comes out the house laughing, saying how funny it was and how I look like a 'twollop' in it. Then in all seriousness she asked me when I was getting my 'actual car' back from the garage. FML
#1922061 (43) - 05/14/2009 at 2:07am by Badnewca - misc - I agree, your life is f***ed (7162) - you deserved that one (776)

ShareThis

Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML
#1918683 (66) - 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm by chelserusera - kids - I agree, your life is f***ed (10467) - you deserved that one (928)

ShareThis

Today, I was accepted to Harvard's law program. Prestigious right? After hearing the good news the only thing my parents talked about over dinner was who they wanted to win American Idol: Adam, Kris or Danny. FML
#1916731 (105) - 05/13/2009 at 8:59pm by NoComparison - misc - I agree, your life is f***ed (10468) - you deserved that one (739)

ShareThis

Today, I was wearing my new sunglasses while watching a basketball game. A pretty hot looking girl was sitting a few spots next to me so I stared at her breasts. A few minutes later, I looked up at her face and she was looking at me in disgust. It turns out that my sunglasses were see through. FML
#1912773 (96) - 05/13/2009 at 7:26pm by rackman007 - misc - I agree, your life is f***ed (823) - you deserved that one (14767)

ShareThis

Today, I finally beat the song "Through the Fire and Flames" on Guitar Hero 3. I then realized that it was the biggest accomplishment I've ever made in my entire life. FML
#1909780 (187) - 05/13/2009 at 6:20pm by Nick - misc - I agree, your life is f***ed (18470) - you deserved that one (11990)

ShareThis

Today, I had a really bad day at work and the only thing that was getting me through the day was the idea of taking a nice, hot, relaxing bath. When I got to my front door there was a shut off notice from the gas company. I won't be taking any hot baths until I come up with the $500 bill. FML
#1908425 (63) - 05/13/2009 at 5:44pm by director416 - money - I agree, your life is f***ed (7349) - you deserved that one (15523)

ShareThis

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. Thats when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play connect the dots with my acne. FML
#1905564 (134) - 05/13/2009 at 4:15pm by Anonymous - misc - I agree, your life is f***ed (16296) - you deserved that one (6564)

ShareThis

Today, I was going through my moms closet. On one of the shelves, I found two baby books. One was mine, the other was one for a dog she owned before I was born. I looked through them both. The dog's baby book was filled out more than mine was. FML
#1905571 (69) - 05/13/2009 at 4:15pm by stickers - kids - I agree, your life is f***ed (16912) - you deserved that one (979)

ShareThis

Today, I decided to shave my legs completely to be more confident in my dress. I spent over an hour making sure my legs were perfectly shaved. It wasn't until I had been out awhile that I realized I forgot to shave my armpits. FML
#1904436 (129) - 05/13/2009 at 3:39pm by Anonymous - misc - I agree, your life is f***ed (7855) - you deserved that one (19406)

ShareThis


just posted this for the poster who cant get the website on their computer High Five
that's nice of you hug
Reply
Last edited by SDRebel May 17, 2009 at 08:09 PM.
Joined May 2008
L6: Expert
> bubble2 1,445 Posts
51 Reputation
jj.12321
05-17-2009 at 09:58 PM.
05-17-2009 at 09:58 PM.
Quote :
Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. Well while in the movie theater I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said "You're so funny I'm so glad we're friends
Great website, OP
Reply
Joined Feb 2006
R U an ultracrepidarian?
> bubble2 74,140 Posts
204,163 Reputation
Pro
Sr. Deal Editor
iconian | Staff
05-17-2009 at 10:05 PM.
05-17-2009 at 10:05 PM.
Quote :
Today, my dad got really drunk. When I was about to go to bed, he was just coming out of the bathroom, he was fully naked, I immediately turned away and said "Okay Dad, time for bed". Thinking that I was my mum, he replied with "That's right bitch, I'm your daddy, I'll show you in bed". FML
Jawdrop

$20 says it was some lounger....wasn't me

Quote :
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
Quote :
Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML
i wish i never read that
Reply
Last edited by iconian | Staff May 17, 2009 at 10:10 PM.
Joined Jul 2006
L0: Not Dead
> bubble2 22,920 Posts
979 Reputation
ASG
05-19-2009 at 08:57 PM.
05-19-2009 at 08:57 PM.
I like the parody site better.

http://new.mylifeisaverage.com/
Reply

Sign up for a Slickdeals account to remove this ad.

Joined Jun 2007
Not Banned! :)
> bubble2 16,282 Posts
3,048 Reputation
Clivefrog
05-19-2009 at 09:28 PM.
05-19-2009 at 09:28 PM.
Quote from ASG :
I like the parody site better.

http://new.mylifeisaverage.com/
LMAO that's redonkulous
Reply
Page 12 of 25
Start the Conversation
 
Link Copied

The link has been copied to the clipboard.