Fark My Life

Wasn't there a thread on SDs about this?

Today, I went to the doctor. I had a spider bite that had been getting progressively larger for days. I had been putting Neosporin on underneath the bandage that was on it. The doctor saw my wound and laughed. He said the spider bite was no big deal, but that I was allergic to the Neosporin. FML

Today, is the day my husband was supposed to come home from a six month tour at sea. I heard the door bell ring. I sprinted to the door expecting to hold my honey bear, instead two uniformed sailors with a folded flag greeted me. I burst into tears. My husband walked up behind me. He laughed. FML



do soldiers really do that

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

Today, is the day my husband was supposed to come home from a six month tour at sea. I heard the door bell ring. I sprinted to the door expecting to hold my honey bear, instead two uniformed sailors with a folded flag greeted me. I burst into tears. My husband walked up behind me. He laughed. FML

do soldiers really do that

Today, is the day my husband was supposed to come home from a six month tour at sea. I heard the door bell ring. I sprinted to the door expecting to hold my honey bear, instead two uniformed sailors with a folded flag greeted me. I burst into tears. My husband walked up behind me. He laughed. FML



do soldiers really do that

Today, I am wearing a panda suit for the promotion of the restaurant I work at. FML
#1925712 (95) - 05/14/2009 at 8:40am by Anonymous - work - I agree, your life is f***ed (5580) - you deserved that one (1548)

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Today, I stayed up all night to study for my anatomy final at 9 a.m. I studied outside the testing room in the hall all night. Apparently I feel asleep with my headphones as my friend woke me up after walking out of the test asking how I did. 300 classmates walked by and no one woke me up. FML
#1923486 (62) - 05/14/2009 at 3:51am by peoplesuck - misc - I agree, your life is f***ed (7884) - you deserved that one (1638)

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Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'farkER'. FML
#1923265 (73) - 05/14/2009 at 3:23am by Flicker - misc - I agree, your life is f***ed (7319) - you deserved that one (467)

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Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. Trying to be romantic, I told him that I loved him and I was so glad I was with him. He responded by giving me a thumbs-up and turning back to the TV. FML
#1922791 (67) - 05/14/2009 at 2:48am by KarolBee - love - I agree, your life is f***ed (8609) - you deserved that one (987)

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Today, I drove home in my brand new car for the first time, hoping to surprise my girlfriend. She comes out the house laughing, saying how funny it was and how I look like a 'twollop' in it. Then in all seriousness she asked me when I was getting my 'actual car' back from the garage. FML
#1922061 (43) - 05/14/2009 at 2:07am by Badnewca - misc - I agree, your life is f***ed (7162) - you deserved that one (776)

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Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML
#1918683 (66) - 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm by chelserusera - kids - I agree, your life is f***ed (10467) - you deserved that one (928)

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Today, I was accepted to Harvard's law program. Prestigious right? After hearing the good news the only thing my parents talked about over dinner was who they wanted to win American Idol: Adam, Kris or Danny. FML
#1916731 (105) - 05/13/2009 at 8:59pm by NoComparison - misc - I agree, your life is f***ed (10468) - you deserved that one (739)

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Today, I was wearing my new sunglasses while watching a basketball game. A pretty hot looking girl was sitting a few spots next to me so I stared at her breasts. A few minutes later, I looked up at her face and she was looking at me in disgust. It turns out that my sunglasses were see through. FML
#1912773 (96) - 05/13/2009 at 7:26pm by rackman007 - misc - I agree, your life is f***ed (823) - you deserved that one (14767)

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Today, I finally beat the song "Through the Fire and Flames" on Guitar Hero 3. I then realized that it was the biggest accomplishment I've ever made in my entire life. FML
#1909780 (187) - 05/13/2009 at 6:20pm by Nick - misc - I agree, your life is f***ed (18470) - you deserved that one (11990)

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Today, I had a really bad day at work and the only thing that was getting me through the day was the idea of taking a nice, hot, relaxing bath. When I got to my front door there was a shut off notice from the gas company. I won't be taking any hot baths until I come up with the $500 bill. FML
#1908425 (63) - 05/13/2009 at 5:44pm by director416 - money - I agree, your life is f***ed (7349) - you deserved that one (15523)

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Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. Thats when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play connect the dots with my acne. FML
#1905564 (134) - 05/13/2009 at 4:15pm by Anonymous - misc - I agree, your life is f***ed (16296) - you deserved that one (6564)

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Today, I was going through my moms closet. On one of the shelves, I found two baby books. One was mine, the other was one for a dog she owned before I was born. I looked through them both. The dog's baby book was filled out more than mine was. FML
#1905571 (69) - 05/13/2009 at 4:15pm by stickers - kids - I agree, your life is f***ed (16912) - you deserved that one (979)

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Today, I decided to shave my legs completely to be more confident in my dress. I spent over an hour making sure my legs were perfectly shaved. It wasn't until I had been out awhile that I realized I forgot to shave my armpits. FML
#1904436 (129) - 05/13/2009 at 3:39pm by Anonymous - misc - I agree, your life is f***ed (7855) - you deserved that one (19406)

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just posted this for the poster who cant get the website on their computer

Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. Well while in the movie theater I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said "You're so funny I'm so glad we're friends

Today, my dad got really drunk. When I was about to go to bed, he was just coming out of the bathroom, he was fully naked, I immediately turned away and said "Okay Dad, time for bed". Thinking that I was my mum, he replied with "That's right bitch, I'm your daddy, I'll show you in bed". FML

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

I like the parody site better.

http://new.mylifeisaverage.com/