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Fark My Life

26,668 2,340 February 12, 2009 at 05:35 AM in Humor (2)
http://www.fmylife.com/
Quote :
Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired.
Quote :
Today, I accidentally kicked a child down a set of steps. I work in a kids play area.
Quote :
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He responded with "Who the hell are you?"
Quote :
Today, I cut myself of a bandaid box, while trying to get a bandaid out for another cut.
Crylol Roll Rofl2 LMAO laugh out loud
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Joined Jun 2006
Jambi-rific in Seattle!
> bubble2 31,436 Posts
2,810 Reputation
Zoe Moon
05-19-2009 at 09:47 PM.
05-19-2009 at 09:47 PM.
Quote from ASG :
I like the parody site better.

http://new.mylifeisaverage.com/
Isn't that Twitter. laugh out loud
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Joined Apr 2006
World dominator and rebel
> bubble2 41,453 Posts
4,437 Reputation
SDRebel
05-20-2009 at 09:37 AM.
05-20-2009 at 09:37 AM.
Quote from iconian :
Jawdrop

Quote :
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML





i wish i never read that
the bacon one was definitely a lounger!
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Joined Apr 2006
World dominator and rebel
> bubble2 41,453 Posts
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SDRebel
05-20-2009 at 09:42 AM.
05-20-2009 at 09:42 AM.
Quote from ASG :
I like the parody site better.

http://new.mylifeisaverage.com/
laugh out loud I like it, but wouldn't read it more than a few times...FML has become a must

Quote from Zoe Moon :
Isn't that Twitter. laugh out loud
laugh out loud
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Last edited by SDRebel May 20, 2009 at 09:42 AM.
Joined Jun 2005
L6: Laser Lotus
> bubble2 21,654 Posts
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shhaggy
05-20-2009 at 10:08 AM.
05-20-2009 at 10:08 AM.
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" and then my mom walked in. FML
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Joined Aug 2005
Green
> bubble2 16,205 Posts
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KTMay
05-20-2009 at 10:28 AM.
05-20-2009 at 10:28 AM.
Quote from shhaggy :
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" and then my mom walked in. FML
LMAO
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Joined Apr 2006
World dominator and rebel
> bubble2 41,453 Posts
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SDRebel
05-20-2009 at 12:02 PM.
05-20-2009 at 12:02 PM.
Today I got a chain letter saying I would be haunted by ghosts if I didn't pass on the letter to five people. I ignored it and the aforementioned ghosts never appeared. MLIA
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Joined Aug 2007
What a Win!!!
> bubble2 11,083 Posts
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damnyou
05-20-2009 at 12:07 PM.
05-20-2009 at 12:07 PM.
Today, I was riding the bus home from school. I was sitting by myself, and my backpack was occupying the seat next to me. A hot girl boarded the bus, and was standing right where I was sitting. I proceeded to place my backpack on my lap, freeing up the seat. The girl stood the entire bus ride. FML
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Joined Jun 2005
L6: Laser Lotus
> bubble2 21,654 Posts
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shhaggy
05-20-2009 at 12:43 PM.
05-20-2009 at 12:43 PM.
If you guys don't want to wait for the updates, you can click on 'moderate the FMLs' to see the pending ones, and vote on whether they should make the site or not.
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Joined Apr 2006
World dominator and rebel
> bubble2 41,453 Posts
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SDRebel
05-20-2009 at 01:22 PM.
05-20-2009 at 01:22 PM.
Quote from shhaggy :
If you guys don't want to wait for the updates, you can click on 'moderate the FMLs' to see the pending ones, and vote on whether they should make the site or not.
haha, nice tip, I didn't know that
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Joined Dec 2006
L8: Grand Teacher
> bubble2 3,026 Posts
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Hot Sauce
05-21-2009 at 11:03 PM.
05-21-2009 at 11:03 PM.
This has to be the funniest FML I've ever seen Rofl2

Quote :
Today, I was at the mall blasting music, I was wearing a nice shirt and had my ipod in my breast pocket when I noticed a cute girl smiling at me so I smiled back and she started to walk over while turning down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML
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Joined Feb 2006
R U an ultracrepidarian?
> bubble2 74,137 Posts
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Pro
Sr. Deal Editor
iconian | Staff
05-21-2009 at 11:17 PM.
05-21-2009 at 11:17 PM.
Quote :
Today, While watching Shoot 'Em Up, I realized that the baby in the movie has a dick almost as big as mine. FML
Crylol

Quote :
Today, I thought it would be sexy to play twister with my boyfriend. As we were playing he decided to bite my butt. It scared me so much I farted, in his face. FML
I wonder which loungerette was that...
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Joined Feb 2007
L10: Grand Master
> bubble2 7,600 Posts
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ThriftShopperNC
05-22-2009 at 12:12 AM.
05-22-2009 at 12:12 AM.
Quote from iconian :
Crylol



I wonder which loungerette was that...
sounds like something R.G. and Jex would be doing.
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Joined Sep 2005
Nice talk, sugarmouth...
> bubble2 12,855 Posts
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Dizzy Devil
06-02-2009 at 09:56 PM.
06-02-2009 at 09:56 PM.
Quote :
Today, I called Tech Support because the computer program wouldn't let me open files for my online classes. After an hour, and being walked through the downloading process multiple times. There was a pause and he said "You're a farking idiot." and hung up. It still won't work. FML
LMAO
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Joined Sep 2006
IVIodel citizen
> bubble2 19,431 Posts
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Fallacy
06-03-2009 at 09:19 AM.
06-03-2009 at 09:19 AM.
Quote :
Today, I was kicked out of my parents house. I was sleeping in my truck bed because I had nowhere to go. I awoke to a "beep beep beep" noise. I was being towed while sleeping in the truck bed. FML
Priceless.
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Joined Jun 2005
L6: Laser Lotus
> bubble2 21,654 Posts
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shhaggy
06-03-2009 at 09:41 AM.
06-03-2009 at 09:41 AM.
Today, I was cleaning my father's study room and wondering why I did not receive my acceptance/rejection letter from a college I really wanted. I found the acceptance letter, on his desk, also approving of a full scholarship. The deadline to confirm was a month ago. FML

That one is rough, how can parents totally screw over their kids like that? I remember being annoyed when my parents opened my acceptance letters, I can't imagine how much I'd flip out if they ever kept one from me.
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