Joined Jul 2005
Scarydevil Monastery
Forum Thread
Fark My Life
February 12, 2009 at
05:35 AM
in
Humor
(2)
http://www.fmylife.com/
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Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired.
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Today, I accidentally kicked a child down a set of steps. I work in a kids play area.
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Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He responded with "Who the hell are you?"
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Today, I cut myself of a bandaid box, while trying to get a bandaid out for another cut.
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Okay, this is just the grossest thing I have heard of.
that's multiple FML right there... FML x 3 at least
9 yr old with a potty mouth! lol
Today, while volunteering at a children's hospital, I was playing Little Big Planet with a hyper 6 y.o. We started stamping each other with random objects in the game; for example, I stamped a green leaf over his eye (just for laughs). A little while later, his mom started chilling with us. She asked her son, "What's that over your eye?" He shouted excitedly, "I have weed!"
Today, I reached into my fridge to grab a strawberry soda. I noticed the can had started to leak from the top so I slurped up the spilt red liquid on the top of the can. I realized it wasn't soda, but blood from a defrosting steak on the shelf above it. FML
LOL!!
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Okay, who did this??? Fess up.
Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML
"Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML" [fmylife.com]
"Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML" [fmylife.com]
Autumn?
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