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Real-life drama at the beach ... Rammy's in trouble again ... apparently the wife doesn't like me taking pictures of other women

24,862 1,948 July 22, 2009 at 10:01 AM in Cameras
Amongst the ~200 photos I took last week at the beach, I snapped 3-4 pictures of some hotties that were walking up and down the beach. The wife took great offense to this and I thought it was playful at first but (as women are apt to do) an argument ensued which turned into her giving me the cold, silent treatment for the next 24 hours. She indicated I was "to take pictures of only her & the kids".

Disrespectful? Immature? In hindsight a little, but in her words "I'm married, I'm not dead". I wasn't peeping through a peephole at some ESPN hottie, I was taking a picture of someone strolling a few yards in front of me proudly displaying the goods that God gave her. Just how insecure can she be?

Is this a potential for a double standard? The wife had a massage at a day spa from a "young surfer dude" who was checking her out. Do I come out with the directive "no man can touch you except for me at any time". To take it to another level, shouldn't I be able to get lap dances (I don't btw) without feeling guilty. I agree that's extreme, but give me a break.

I thought things had cooled down the next day or two (makeup OTs) but then out of the blue the wife went through and deleted the pictures on my camera - which simply pissed me off. The following is all that's left. It was intended to be a humorous presentation to the lounge: (a) picture of hotties, (b) picture of wife holding up hand in front of camera, (c) picture of ocean as wife punched hubby in stomach.

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Last Edited by daniel32 July 23, 2009 at 03:57 PM
Quote from briang :
let me be the first to say......


second...



third...

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> bubble2 19,431 Posts
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Fallacy
07-22-2009 at 01:02 PM.
07-22-2009 at 01:02 PM.
Quote from BrgnHntr :
I assume there's some anger or he wouldn't have thought to create the thread. Maybe it's other guys posting in here I got the anger from - I don't really remember.

I don't think she deleted it to "get back" at him. If it were me, that's not why I would have deleted it. You're putting thoughts into her head.
This is rammy, he made this thread to get a rise out of the lounge laugh out loud
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Joined Sep 2005
Nice talk, sugarmouth...
> bubble2 12,855 Posts
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Dizzy Devil
07-22-2009 at 01:04 PM.
07-22-2009 at 01:04 PM.
Quote from IVIax :
This is rammy, he made this thread to get a rise out of the lounge laugh out loud
Nono2 He'd never do something like that.



LMAO OK yeah, and I fell for it.
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Original Poster
Ram|bunc|tious
07-22-2009 at 01:04 PM.
07-22-2009 at 01:04 PM.
Quote from IVIax :
You want a better analogy?

Would it be right for your husband to throw out your favorite sweater (without asking/telling you) because he thought it made you look like a slut and other men are lusting after you while on a family vacation while sitting right next to the kiddos?
How about this one ... do guys have the right to tell women they can't wear low-cut blouses or high-cut skirts to work? Showing off her goodies in this manner obviously isn't meant for their partners ...
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BrgnHntr
07-22-2009 at 01:06 PM.
07-22-2009 at 01:06 PM.
Well in this situation, he told her that he felt that way about the sweater and she kept it anyway and a few days later he threw it out. No, not right of him to throw it out but it's also not right of her to keep it and make him feel that way.

Rammy knew she felt that way about the pictures and kept them anyway. Yes, she should have talked to him about deleting them, but is it really that giant of a leap from him knowing they upset her to thinking to delete them on his own?

You sound like a 'right fighter' Max. Do fights between you and your wife carry on forever or only until she gives up?

There comes a point when something isn't worth fighting about anymore regardless of the principal - especially when you're both in the wrong.
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Ram|bunc|tious
07-22-2009 at 01:06 PM.
07-22-2009 at 01:06 PM.
Quote from Dizzy Devil :
So to get back to your original point, yeah I think there is a double standard in your marriage. She's content with being able to check out hot guys and comment on them, but you get poked in the side?
Thank you

Quote from IVIax :
This is rammy, he made this thread to get a rise out of the lounge laugh out loud
Would that be ... pushin yer buttons? Whistling
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Last edited by Ram|bunc|tious July 22, 2009 at 01:07 PM.
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BrgnHntr
07-22-2009 at 01:10 PM.
07-22-2009 at 01:10 PM.
Quote from Ram|bunc|tious :
... as much sense as women supporting the double-standard. In your relationships were you "permitted" to oogle guys? Did you let your SO?
The double standard has to stop. She shouldn't be looking if she doesn't want you to.

Quote from Ram|bunc|tious :
How about this one ... do guys have the right to tell women they can't wear low-cut blouses or high-cut skirts to work? Showing off her goodies in this manner obviously isn't meant for their partners ...
If it crossed a line in his mind, yeah they have a right. Hopefully she respects that opinion.

Quote from Ram|bunc|tious :
Would that be ... pushin yer buttons? Whistling
and a good job too - kept me from working for hours Smilie
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Last edited by BrgnHntr July 22, 2009 at 01:10 PM.
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rayzac | Staff
07-22-2009 at 01:11 PM.
07-22-2009 at 01:11 PM.
Quote from Ram|bunc|tious :
How about this one ... do guys have the right to tell women they can't wear low-cut blouses or high-cut skirts to work? Showing off her goodies in this manner obviously isn't meant for their partners ...
Why would the fridge and stove care what she shows off?
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Fallacy
07-22-2009 at 01:12 PM.
07-22-2009 at 01:12 PM.
Quote from BrgnHntr :
Well in this situation, he told her that he felt that way about the sweater and she kept it anyway and a few days later he threw it out. No, not right of him to throw it out but it's also not right of her to keep it and make him feel that way.

Rammy knew she felt that way about the pictures and kept them anyway. Yes, she should have talked to him about deleting them, but is it really that giant of a leap from him knowing they upset her to thinking to delete them on his own?
You're religious right? If god knew that you would do the right thing, why would he place the challenge in front you? Stick Out Tongue

Quote from BrgnHntr :
You sound like a 'right fighter' Max. Do fights between you and your wife carry on forever or only until she gives up?
She's a "right fighter" too, our fights don't last more than a few hours typically. Usually we come to an understanding, rarely one of us (and it's been both) just says "ok, I give up, let's drop it".

In the 6+ years that we've known each other we never gave each other the silent treatment for 24 hours or however long rammy and his wife gave each other the cold shoulder. but then again, they've been married longer than I've even known my wife Stick Out Tongue.

Quote from BrgnHntr :
There comes a point when something isn't worth fighting about anymore regardless of the principal - especially when you're both in the wrong.
This I will agree with.
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rayzac | Staff
07-22-2009 at 01:12 PM.
07-22-2009 at 01:12 PM.
On a serious note though, I never could understand when I was growing up why it was OK for my mom to go into my dad's wallet to take out some cash but all hell broke loose if he went into her purse for anything.
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Fallacy
07-22-2009 at 01:13 PM.
07-22-2009 at 01:13 PM.
Quote from Ram|bunc|tious :
Would that be ... pushin yer buttons? Whistling
Me? No, I enjoy arguing with people on the internet and not working.

As for other people Dontknow
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Joined Sep 2004
.........................
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Gray.
07-22-2009 at 01:17 PM.
07-22-2009 at 01:17 PM.
Quote from IVIax :
You want a better analogy?

Would it be right for your husband to throw out your favorite sweater (without asking/telling you) because he thought it made you look like a slut and other men are lusting after you while on a family vacation while sitting right next to the kiddos?
Thanks for a decen analogy. laugh out loud

yes, it would be "wrong" for him to do that. Instead, he should have better communication skills and have approached me about his concerns.

Although one should question why I'm wearing a slutty sweater in the first place. If I am wearing something like that and seeking attention in that way on purpose other men, then my husband has a darn good reason to throw that sweater
away.

It would be one thing if it was a pic of the kids while the skanks were standing nearby and accidentally were in the pic (and legitimately so, not just for him to get away with later) but to obviously take pics like that is asking for it and I don't blame her one bit. Just like I wouldn't blame my husband for being mad if I was wearing something slutty for the purposes of attracting other men.
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BrgnHntr
07-22-2009 at 01:17 PM.
07-22-2009 at 01:17 PM.
Quote from IVIax :
You're religious right? If god knew that you would do the right thing, why would he place the challenge in front you? Stick Out Tongue
Sooooo not going there. Stick Out Tongue

Quote from IVIax :
She's a "right fighter" too, our fights don't last more than a few hours typically. Usually we come to an understanding, rarely one of us (and it's been both) just says "ok, I give up, let's drop it".

In the 6+ years that we've known each other we never gave each other the silent treatment for 24 hours or however long rammy and his wife gave each other the cold shoulder. but then again, they've been married longer than I've even known my wife Stick Out Tongue.
I'm a get it all out on the table, deal with it and move on type too.

Bugs me to no end when my husband brings up something that happened weeks or even months ago. It's like, if you were mad about this weeks/months ago, why on earth didn't you bring it up so we could deal with it weeks/months ago? Annoyed
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Joined Sep 2005
Nice talk, sugarmouth...
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Dizzy Devil
07-22-2009 at 01:18 PM.
07-22-2009 at 01:18 PM.
Quote from IVIax :
Me? No, I enjoy arguing with people on the internet and not working.

As for other people Dontknow
laugh out loud Iagree with max. Sign of the apocalypse.
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07-22-2009 at 01:20 PM.
07-22-2009 at 01:20 PM.
Quote from PassionateGray :
Thanks for a decen analogy. laugh out loud

yes, it would be "wrong" for him to do that. Instead, he should have better communication skills and have approached me about his concerns.

Although one should question why I'm wearing a slutty sweater in the first place. If I am wearing something like that and seeking attention in that way on purpose other men, then my husband has a darn good reason to throw that sweater
away.

It would be one thing if it was a pic of the kids while the skanks were standing nearby and accidentally were in the pic (and legitimately so, not just for him to get away with later) but to obviously take pics like that is asking for it and I don't blame her one bit. Just like I wouldn't blame my husband for being mad if I was wearing something slutty for the purposes of attracting other men.
The way you worded it (intentionally or not), I think I can agree with ALL of that.
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BrgnHntr
07-22-2009 at 01:20 PM.
07-22-2009 at 01:20 PM.
Quote from rayzac :
On a serious note though, I never could understand when I was growing up why it was OK for my mom to go into my dad's wallet to take out some cash but all hell broke loose if he went into her purse for anything.
That is weird. My husband grabs money, etc. from my purse and I don't care (not sure why I would). As did my dad from my mom's purse. She had the only check book, he had to get into her purse.
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