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I'm so pissed at DBF anyone care to give insight as to a man's thinking?

2,257 1,117 December 16, 2009 at 07:18 AM in Chat
Background info:
In March,before we were officially dating,I found naked pictures of this girl on his phone. I got incredibly pissed and confronted him about them. He said we weren't officially dating although we were exclusive so I couldn't get mad at him bc I didn't know what I wanted to do. Fast forward until now, he's been still talking to her and texting her,I've known it all along and I've expressed to him how much I don't like him talking to her etc. He always brings back the part that we weren't "dating" when she sent the pics,and since we've been dating she hasn't sent him any racy pics. I've been trying to be patient and understanding about it but I'm really insecure about this whole situation and I've told him how I feel,but it still does no good. Am I acting irrationally? Do I have a reason to be upset about him still talking to her etc? She's on his facebook and they chit chat alot,but yet he asked me to remove my ex because he didn't like it,and I did because I didn't want him to feel threatened or insecure about it. It gets to the point that when I see her posting in response to him that I clinch my fists because it makes me so mad.
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Joined Aug 2005
Baldilocks
> bubble2 41,172 Posts
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emelvee
12-16-2009 at 07:35 AM.
12-16-2009 at 07:35 AM.
Quote from Fallacy :
OP -- he's obviously keeping her around just in case for a fark buddy.
Iagree
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Joined Jul 2005
Bleacher Creature
> bubble2 5,188 Posts
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Pinstripes
12-16-2009 at 07:36 AM.
12-16-2009 at 07:36 AM.
I am not buying it... Give him an ultimatum. It obviously worries you and if it is nothing then it will not be a big deal for him to do but if he refuses then it would make me think he gives her more respect then you.
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Joined Mar 2009
Schrödinger's Frog
> bubble2 19,435 Posts
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Frogstar
12-16-2009 at 07:36 AM.
12-16-2009 at 07:36 AM.
Quote from Fallacy :
OP -- he's obviously keeping her around just in case for a fark buddy. there is no other reason for a guy to keep a piece of ass on the side who keeps sending him naked pictures.
It's impossible that they could just enjoy talking, and that he's capable of controlling his penis?
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Joined Aug 2005
Baldilocks
> bubble2 41,172 Posts
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emelvee
12-16-2009 at 07:37 AM.
12-16-2009 at 07:37 AM.
Quote from Frogstar :
It's impossible that they could just enjoy talking, and that he's capable of controlling his penis?
it's possible, just not likely.
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Joined Jun 2007
Owner at Crafty Creations
> bubble2 2,257 Posts
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Original Poster
Jengo
12-16-2009 at 07:41 AM.
12-16-2009 at 07:41 AM.
Quote from emelvee :
How does he explain his request to remove your ex, while he won't do the same?
He explains it as we weren't "officially dating" when the pictures were sent,he didn't request them,she just sent them.
Quote from hammondc :
1. Agree with the 'you we not dating when the pics were sent part'
2. How often is he talking / txting her?
3. I think it is BS that he demands you remove your ex, but he gets to keep his.
Scratchhead He talks to her atleast every day on facebook that I know of.
he didn't demand me to remove my ex. My ex posted something on my facebook: I posted "Sigh,I hate not having other family here besides my mom Frown I feel so alone." my ex replied "I know,I still remember what you were thankful for our first Thanksgiving circled around my sisters table. Do you remember?" This was obviously T-Day. I was thankful for being part of a big family because my family is so small. DBF didn't like this and was jealous he talked to me about it,I didn't want him to feel jealous or insecure so I removed the ex from my FB page. He didn't demand me to do anything,we talked and I didn't want him to feel the way he did so I did what I could do to help him feel better.

Quote from Pinstripes :
I lost a good friend because she was Miss New York and I had to cut ties with her because my wife didn't want her invited to our wedding and upstage her. Sad considering I knew her longer than my wife at the time 6 years to 3 years...



Do you think she wants your BF's carrot?
IDK probably,he's said she's a whore (his words not mine) and that you don't turn a hoe into a housewife.
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Joined Jul 2005
Bleacher Creature
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Pinstripes
12-16-2009 at 07:42 AM.
12-16-2009 at 07:42 AM.
Quote from emelvee :
it's possible, just not likely.
I am sure the naked pics were just an icebreaker to advance their lines of communication.

Quote from Jengo :
He explains it as we weren't "officially dating" when the pictures were sent,he didn't request them,she just sent them.

Scratchhead He talks to her atleast every day on facebook that I know of.
he didn't demand me to remove my ex. My ex posted something on my facebook: I posted "Sigh,I hate not having other family here besides my mom Frown I feel so alone." my ex replied "I know,I still remember what you were thankful for our first Thanksgiving circled around my sisters table. Do you remember?" This was obviously T-Day. I was thankful for being part of a big family because my family is so small. DBF didn't like this and was jealous he talked to me about it,I didn't want him to feel jealous or insecure so I removed the ex from my FB page. He didn't demand me to do anything,we talked and I didn't want him to feel the way he did so I did what I could do to help him feel better.


IDK probably,he's said she's a whore (his words not mine) and that you don't turn a hoe into a housewife.
Right but you keep her in your back pocket when you are bored.
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Last edited by Pinstripes December 16, 2009 at 07:43 AM.
Joined Jul 2005
Bleacher Creature
> bubble2 5,188 Posts
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Pinstripes
12-16-2009 at 07:44 AM.
12-16-2009 at 07:44 AM.
By him telling you she is a whore, how did he think this would calm your fears?
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Joined Jun 2007
Owner at Crafty Creations
> bubble2 2,257 Posts
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Original Poster
Jengo
12-16-2009 at 07:45 AM.
12-16-2009 at 07:45 AM.
Well I also will say that him and her were friends atleast a year before I found the pics,now granted I can't be certain this we the first and only time she sent the pics.
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Joined Sep 2006
IVIodel citizen
> bubble2 19,431 Posts
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Fallacy
12-16-2009 at 07:45 AM.
12-16-2009 at 07:45 AM.
Quote from emelvee :
it's possible, just not likely.
I can control my penis very well

When it sees men -- it goes down
When it sees hot women -- it goes up
When it sees ugly women -- it's at half mast.

Dontknow
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Joined Aug 2005
Baldilocks
> bubble2 41,172 Posts
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emelvee
12-16-2009 at 07:47 AM.
12-16-2009 at 07:47 AM.
Quote from Jengo :
He explains it as we weren't "officially dating" when the pictures were sent,he didn't request them,she just sent them.
I mean why did he ask you to remove your ex from facebook but he won't do the same with his ex?
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Joined Jul 2005
Bleacher Creature
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Pinstripes
12-16-2009 at 07:51 AM.
12-16-2009 at 07:51 AM.
You mentioned her having a horse face.. How about the body?
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Joined Jun 2007
Owner at Crafty Creations
> bubble2 2,257 Posts
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Original Poster
Jengo
12-16-2009 at 07:51 AM.
12-16-2009 at 07:51 AM.
Quote from Pinstripes :
By him telling you she is a whore, how did he think this would calm your fears?
I'm not sure.

He posted something on his fb this morning "I'm so enraged" she responded back "awww what's wrong?" I asked him not to talk about our issues with her and that I didn't like me even being mentioned to her,that I don't like her and it still makes me angry that he continues to talk to her. He said she's just a friend. I said yeah a friend that sent you naked pictures and you call a whore. He texted me back, that was before we were exclusive back when I was "just a friend" as you so put it and it has never been done since. I've made sure of that,you should've laid your claim to me. You can't be mad at me because you didn't know what the hell you wanted.

Head Bang It's like I'm just spinning my wheels with this situation. I'm trying to just let it go but dammit I need someone else to help me see what's right and wrong in this situation.
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Joined Sep 2006
IVIodel citizen
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Fallacy
12-16-2009 at 07:52 AM.
12-16-2009 at 07:52 AM.
Quote from Pinstripes :
You mentioned her having a horse face.. How about the body?
Butterface.
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Joined Sep 2006
IVIodel citizen
> bubble2 19,431 Posts
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Fallacy
12-16-2009 at 07:54 AM.
12-16-2009 at 07:54 AM.
Alright, time for a warning point, but I hope it's worth it -- Jengo take your head out of your ass. Seriously.

You know the right answer before you even posted your thread. You know what needs to be done and what you should do. You're just looking for people to tell you "it's ok, don't worry, we agree with you".
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Post-It Princess
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metoday
12-16-2009 at 07:56 AM.
12-16-2009 at 07:56 AM.
Regardless of what anyone else thinks about what is and is not acceptable, if it's something that bothers you, he needs to address it. If he's not willing to, it should speak volumes about his view of your relationship.
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