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I'm so pissed at DBF anyone care to give insight as to a man's thinking?

2,257 1,117 December 16, 2009 at 07:18 AM in Chat
Background info:
In March,before we were officially dating,I found naked pictures of this girl on his phone. I got incredibly pissed and confronted him about them. He said we weren't officially dating although we were exclusive so I couldn't get mad at him bc I didn't know what I wanted to do. Fast forward until now, he's been still talking to her and texting her,I've known it all along and I've expressed to him how much I don't like him talking to her etc. He always brings back the part that we weren't "dating" when she sent the pics,and since we've been dating she hasn't sent him any racy pics. I've been trying to be patient and understanding about it but I'm really insecure about this whole situation and I've told him how I feel,but it still does no good. Am I acting irrationally? Do I have a reason to be upset about him still talking to her etc? She's on his facebook and they chit chat alot,but yet he asked me to remove my ex because he didn't like it,and I did because I didn't want him to feel threatened or insecure about it. It gets to the point that when I see her posting in response to him that I clinch my fists because it makes me so mad.
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Joined Jun 2007
Owner at Crafty Creations
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Original Poster
Jengo
12-16-2009 at 10:56 AM.
12-16-2009 at 10:56 AM.
I am not in his head,so I don't know what all of his intentions are with saying what he says,or doing what he does,if I was it would be sooooo much easier Frown laugh out loud with all the genius minds running around here I'm sure we can invent something that would let us hear other people thoughts

Quote from metoday :
How many friends send spread eagle naked pics?
vomit Mental pic....

Yeah that's why I put "friend" in qoutations. He supposedly didn't ask for the pics she just sent them...... If she's a whore she might like that...she also might like trying to steal other people's boyfriends....
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Last edited by Jengo December 16, 2009 at 10:57 AM.
Joined Feb 2004
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abeo
12-16-2009 at 10:58 AM.
12-16-2009 at 10:58 AM.
Quote from Jengo :
let me clarify. This girl isn't an ex. She's a "friend" of his for many years. I have asked him a few times today if he has ever done anything with her but for some reason (now it could be because we've been texting alot and it just got pushed aside in the moment) he has yet to give me an answer. I found pictures of her on his phone in March. He deleted them. He eventually stopped talking to her,we broke up in Sept,he started talking to her again,added her to his fb account. We got back together in Oct,he still has her on his fb even though he knows that I don't like her and don't like him talking to her,because of said pics and the fact that he calls her a whore.
I'm sorry Jenn. But IMO, it is/was more than "just friends". People do not send those kind of photos to "just a friend".

How many times have you sent a *ahem* photo to "just a friend"? Secret
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Joined Dec 2006
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BostonGirl
12-16-2009 at 10:58 AM.
12-16-2009 at 10:58 AM.
Quote from Jengo :
there could be a million reasons why he wants to keep her around,he could have good intentions or bad intentions. Sadly the only thing I know is he still classifies her as a "friend" what level of friendship I have no idea. She wasn't on his fb until we broke up. He added her the day that Lillian was born. That was a slap in the face.
Seriously what you should do, is drop it for a few days (even a day)...take a step back and think about yourself, your future and if you always want to be living doubting him. Figure out what would fix this enough for you to feel happy and secure ( even if it's just about this situation ). And then talk calmly and rationally to him, and explain to him what you want out of this relationship and that the things he is doing is not right in your mind and it's not how you want to live your life.
Don't forget you have a DD now, do you want her to grow up under these circumstances? I'm not saying 100% drop the guy today, but you really need to step back and look at this relationship from the outside. It's not healthy in any means. What he did to you in the past, when you needed him the most in your life. I know you say you can forgive it, but have you really? I think something like that can never truly be forgiven and always will hold some resentment deep in the back of your mind.
This goes back more then just this one chick, theres the one before her, and then the hospital thing. No wonder you have trust issues. But you need to trust in yourself, that how you feel is NOT ok...hug
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Joined Dec 2006
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BostonGirl
12-16-2009 at 11:01 AM.
12-16-2009 at 11:01 AM.
Quote from Nihilariat :
what's the difference between this thread and the other thread that we cannot speak of which was locked not so long ago?
We care about Jengo's situation..LMAO

Quote from metoday :
How many friends send spread eagle naked pics?
So we are not friends anymore? Confused
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Joined Sep 2006
IVIodel citizen
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Fallacy
12-16-2009 at 11:02 AM.
12-16-2009 at 11:02 AM.
Quote from metoday :
How many friends send spread eagle naked pics?
4.5

Doh you're not talking about my friends.
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Joined May 2008
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jj.12321
12-16-2009 at 11:02 AM.
12-16-2009 at 11:02 AM.
Quote from BostonGirl :
But he even said she was a whore, why would a guy want to be friends with someone like that?
Whores need friends too.
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Joined Dec 2006
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BostonGirl
12-16-2009 at 11:06 AM.
12-16-2009 at 11:06 AM.
Quote from jj12321 :
Whores need friends too.
Just not my man..Nono2
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skinny2by4
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Me
12-16-2009 at 11:06 AM.
12-16-2009 at 11:06 AM.
Quote from BostonGirl :
We care about Jengo's situation..LMAO
I would have also accepted, "this is real"
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Joined May 2008
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jj.12321
12-16-2009 at 11:06 AM.
12-16-2009 at 11:06 AM.
Quote from metoday :
How many friends send spread eagle naked pics?
You told me that I had to send you one, or else you wouldn't add me to FB. I thought that was normal.
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Joined Sep 2006
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Fallacy
12-16-2009 at 11:06 AM.
12-16-2009 at 11:06 AM.
Quote from Nihilariat :
I would have also accepted, "this is real"
Not necessarily.
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Joined Dec 2006
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BostonGirl
12-16-2009 at 11:06 AM.
12-16-2009 at 11:06 AM.
Quote from Nihilariat :
I would have also accepted, "this is real"
I like mine better...laugh out loud
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Joined Nov 2004
Wuzzy's Best Friend
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Autumn | Staff
12-16-2009 at 11:06 AM.
12-16-2009 at 11:06 AM.
Quote from Jengo :
there could be a million reasons why he wants to keep her around,he could have good intentions or bad intentions. Sadly the only thing I know is he still classifies her as a "friend" what level of friendship I have no idea. She wasn't on his fb until we broke up. He added her the day that Lillian was born. That was a slap in the face.
Ok. Here's what I think.

I know posting stuff online is hard because most likely you're posting about the stuff that's bugging you (I'm using "you" in general terms here) and not so much about the good stuff. So then when people come and say "He's an ass, dump him!" you might think "Yeah...but he does this, this, this and this that's good." So take what any of us say with a grain of salt.

With that said (anyone watch curb your enthusiasm finale? No? Ok...moving on)...anyway...you said you posted on his FB that you're his gf and he can lean on you too...and that this girl started bashing you. That's pretty horrible. I don't know the whole story but if my husband posted on my facebook something like that and then one of my guy friends started going off on him...they wouldn't be my friend anymore.

So she sent naked picture(s) to him in the past when you weren't exclusive. Ok
He stayed friends with her. Ok.
He stayed friends with her after she bashed you repeatedly. Really?
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BostonGirl
12-16-2009 at 11:08 AM.
12-16-2009 at 11:08 AM.
Quote from Autumn :
Ok. Here's what I think.

I know posting stuff online is hard because most likely you're posting about the stuff that's bugging you (I'm using "you" in general terms here) and not so much about the good stuff. So then when people come and say "He's an ass, dump him!" you might think "Yeah...but he does this, this, this and this that's good." So take what any of us say with a grain of salt.

With that said (anyone watch curb your enthusiasm finale? No? Ok...moving on)...anyway...you said you posted on his FB that you're his gf and he can lean on you too...and that this girl started bashing you. That's pretty horrible. I don't know the whole story but if my husband posted on my facebook something like that and then one of my guy friends started going off on him...they wouldn't be my friend anymore.

So she sent naked picture(s) to him in the past when you weren't exclusive. Ok
He stayed friends with her. Ok.
He stayed friends with her after she bashed you repeatedly. Really?
Read, 2 different girls. Not friends with the other one who bashed her. This one only sent spread leg pics.
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Post-It Princess
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metoday
12-16-2009 at 11:09 AM.
12-16-2009 at 11:09 AM.
Quote from BostonGirl :
So we are not friends anymore? Confused
Oh. I assumed we were more than that when you sent those to me. Doh

Quote from Fallacy :
4.5

Doh you're not talking about my friends.
laugh out loud

One half.... Scratchhead Interesting. laugh out loud
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Joined Nov 2009
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J3ff
12-16-2009 at 11:09 AM.
12-16-2009 at 11:09 AM.
Boston girl we are all your friends........now lets see some pics!
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