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Forum Thread

Do I make a move on her

5,132 768 February 5, 2011 at 03:33 AM in Chat
Credit to Emelvee for translating my horrible English.

My friend Sarah left her significant other after he had relations with many other women. I have long been interested in having a dating Sarah, but she has always been in a relationship. She has not shown interest in me romantically, to the point of discussing with me her interest in other men.

Recently, we dined together, but simply as friends. We were alone, but it was not a date - it was planned as a group get-together, but the others did not attend the meal. At this time, she noted that she is not prepared for a serious relationship at this time. We had an enjoyable meal, and met some of her friends later. I made an effort to socialize with her friends and not monopolize Sarah's time. It appeared that all involved had a pleasant evening. Sarah took me home and gave me a goodnight hug. She suggested that I should stay an extra day and join her at a birthday celebration. I informed her of my intend to go home instead; we live in different states.

I received a text message from Sarah later in the morning; she explained that she enjoyed having dinner with me, was glad I was able to attend, and hoped that I enjoyed the time together as well. This text message encouraged me to extend my visit another day. I joined Sarah at a club to celebrate her friend's birthday. I did not focus my attention on Sarah during the party, though I did share a couple of dances with her. I did notice another gentleman flirting with Sarah. This did not disturb me, as I had lost any hope of being more than just a "friend" to Sarah based on her previous behavior towards me. I am hopeful that my plan of playing little attention to her was successful in her developing an interest in me romantically.

At the end of the party, she drove me and my friends to a friends home. I returned to my state the next day. On the morning of my departure, I received a text message from Sarah stating "thanks for coming out… I had a great time… glad you stayed an extra day". I did not return the message. She sent another message, containing an inside joke and inquiring as to whether or not I made it home.

Over the next couple of days, she appeared to be spending a lot of time on my Facebook page. She made some jokes on my Wall. I noted that I wasn't feeling well, and she states that she hoped I would feel better. She made another joke that perhaps my leaving her area was what made me sick. She posted a comment on a very old photograph of mine, making yet another joke. Finally, I listed on Facebook that I am single, then one of our mutual friends asked what is going on - a single heart icon displayed on the screen, making it appear that I am in a relationship. Apparently this caused some confusion, as Sarah made the comment "o its okay, I thought the same thing… but it says single". She made her comment just two minutes after I posted that I am single. To me, it looks like she is stalking me via Facebook. lolomgwtfbbq.

As you might expect, I am thinking of Sarah continuously at this point. She will be in my town on business next week, and will be staying at my home for a night or two.

Do you think she is now interested in me? Her behavior with me has completely changed of late. Should I flirt with her when she visits me, and try to move in on a woman who recently exited a difficult relationship? I would want any relationship with Sarah to be meaningful and not simply something she runs to after leaving her previous relationship.

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Hawk2007
02-05-2011 at 06:54 AM.
02-05-2011 at 06:54 AM.
yes, make a move. If you've wanted to ask her out for while, then it's better to know now that it'll never work than to live the rest of your life and regret not making an attempt. Also, there's a risk that she may use you as a rebound and go back to deadbeat cheater. However, if she does that, she's not worth your time to begin with.

Call her up maybe 3-4 days out from when she's coming over for business see how she's doing and see if she would like to eat at one of your favorite restaurants (romantic inclined, doesn't have to be pricey) or try a new place you've heard a lot of really good things about. You should be able to wrap this conversation up in about 15 minutes. I'm somewhat inclined not to make it a really long one.

Then, wait.....

Let the idea build up in her mind that she's having dinner with you. Girls like plans and something to look forward to. More than likely, she'll make the first move after the phone call since she's not afraid to contact you. The best case scenario is the next day something along the lines that she's really looking forward to dinner with you. Don't make time for her and just reply something cordially back. Don't fall in love with her just because she agreed to dinner nor seem too overly excited.

Wait another day, depending on how the contact between you is going, maybe send her a message to see if she's free to talk that night or something to that effect.

Then, just see how it goes.... don't get your hopes up but put your best foot forward.
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slutsky
02-05-2011 at 06:54 AM.
02-05-2011 at 06:54 AM.
OP, if I were you, I will just text her:
I know it might sound strange, but would you be my girlfriend?


or

I already took some blue pills, would you come over now?
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Joined Jun 2006
Take Yo Panties Off!!!
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Original Poster
mahdego
02-05-2011 at 06:55 AM.
02-05-2011 at 06:55 AM.
Quote from J3ff :
ps post a pic
if this pic makes you feel better... of course it aint real

Quote from hAvAAck :
no, you don't make a move.
okay an opposing view... why not?
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marg_fan
02-05-2011 at 07:13 AM.
02-05-2011 at 07:13 AM.
Are you prepared to lose her friendship if you make an advance and you are wrong?

I would recommend that you keep being her friend. Let her decide if she wants to become more than friends.
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hAvAAck
02-05-2011 at 07:15 AM.
02-05-2011 at 07:15 AM.
Quote from mahdego :
okay an opposing view... why not?
With all the back information you gave, she's not interested. Now she's just playing with you because she wants attention. You've known her long enough to figure out her "type" - are you that type?
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Original Poster
mahdego
02-05-2011 at 07:27 AM.
02-05-2011 at 07:27 AM.
Quote from hAvAAck :
With all the back information you gave, she's not interested. Now she's just playing with you because she wants attention. You've known her long enough to figure out her "type" - are you that type?
good point, would probably need to lose 15 lbs and then stack on 20 lbs of muscle to be more her type. kinda hard to do in 4 days haha.
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emelvee
02-05-2011 at 07:40 AM.
02-05-2011 at 07:40 AM.
Do I get an award (or even a cookie or something) for my successful translation? Woot

And OP, if you really want a meaningful relationship, don't make a move this soon. On the other hand, if you're just looking for sex, go for it! laugh out loud
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J3ff
02-05-2011 at 08:23 AM.
02-05-2011 at 08:23 AM.
U gotta have sex with her mang. Do it for the team! And post a real pic!
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yotafan
02-05-2011 at 08:32 AM.
02-05-2011 at 08:32 AM.
I would ask her ahead of time what is ur upcoming schedule maybe we can have dinenr again and go out for drinks. Pending how the dinner date/meeting goes then at the drink portion of it i would say the following. Listen i know we are good friends and i don't want this to change but i just want to let you know i like you and if you would let me i would really like to take you on a date just you and I. If you don't think it is a good idea i understand and can respect your wishes. Like i said i am really glad we are friends and don't want that to change.

OP i noticed you said you aren't her type such as weight and muscle size. That might be true but i wouldn't let that get you down. There is always the settler and reacher in a relationship.

Quote from J3ff :
U gotta have sex with her mang. Do it for the team! And post a real pic!

Of you having sex. lol
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Last edited by yotafan February 5, 2011 at 08:33 AM.
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J3ff
02-05-2011 at 08:41 AM.
02-05-2011 at 08:41 AM.
Quote from yotafan :
I would ask her ahead of time what is ur upcoming schedule maybe we can have dinenr again and go out for drinks. Pending how the dinner date/meeting goes then at the drink portion of it i would say the following. Listen i know we are good friends and i don't want this to change but i just want to let you know i like you and if you would let me i would really like to take you on a date just you and I. If you don't think it is a good idea i understand and can respect your wishes. Like i said i am really glad we are friends and don't want that to change.
No way dude, you gotta go in totally confident that she wants your penis.

Forget even saying the words "I like you" EVER. You just SHOW her you like her by your actions.

Dinner --> drinks --> go home and get on the couch --> get close and cuddle, either turn to her and just go for it OR wait it out and at the end of the night give her a goodnight kiss. If she's into you that kiss will turn into something that lasts all night.

Smilie

Or
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Baldilocks
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emelvee
02-05-2011 at 08:52 AM.
02-05-2011 at 08:52 AM.
Quote from J3ff :
U gotta have sex with her mang. Do it for the team! And post a real pic!
What's a mang? And is it fun to have sex with one? Woot
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Iaaaiws
02-05-2011 at 09:57 AM.
02-05-2011 at 09:57 AM.
Quote from emelvee :
I'll try! Whee
Much better worship
Quote from mahdego :
my bad. I like a friend who is now single. She always treated me like a friend, but now she is showing interest in me as more than a friend. She quickly jumps from relationship to relationship, not because she is that type of girl, but because she is beautiful and is a really good catch. Should I try making a move?
Okay, now I have read the translation and skimmed the original to see how much was translated.

Normally in a situation like this I would say you are wasting your time but there just seems to be a hint of hope in this case. Most likely if it does turn into anything at all it will simply be a rebound relationship that won't last. But there also seems to be a slight chance that it could turn into something more. You don't know unless you try.
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VorlonFrog
02-05-2011 at 11:02 AM.
02-05-2011 at 11:02 AM.
Quote from slutsky :
Who the fark will get up at 5am and nagging about me? FYI, I am surprised that I am up already, geez, 10am!!
East coast, it was almost 9 am for me.
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smurfsalot
02-05-2011 at 01:34 PM.
02-05-2011 at 01:34 PM.
I agree with Hawk2007

To make it simple:

1. she comes over to your area for business
2. take her out on a date - make it somewhat casual but not too romantic, given the whole facebook status thing, id do this asap shes in town.
3. after date, make a move - go for the kiss dammit!
a. she declines and calls you a creep, then yeah youre in friend zone
b. she kisses back then you know.

if shes not into you man, its all good. though she might get a little weirded out, but if you guys have a good friendship this will be just another thing you guys will laugh at down the road.
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Ryu-bom
02-05-2011 at 01:42 PM.
02-05-2011 at 01:42 PM.

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Last edited by Ryu-bom February 5, 2011 at 01:45 PM.
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