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Forum Thread

Looking for your $.02

1,254 1,510 April 19, 2012 at 08:16 AM in Chat
Looking for opinions:

If you have a specific skill or trade do you feel it's okay with charging immediate family members for your labor/time. For example, if you are a mechanic, would you charge your son or daughter, father or mother for your labor? Or do you feel like since they're your family (and let's of course say for arguments sake that everyone likes each other and has a good relationship of course Wink) you should give your help where you're able to and leave it up to the person on the receiving end to give if they should feel inclined?

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Joined Jul 2010
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couponpapa
04-19-2012 at 07:48 PM.
04-19-2012 at 07:48 PM.
Oh she does have a skill and she is really good at it... Just ask the folks over the drugstore forums about her skills laugh out loud
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Original Poster
Supergirl9801
04-19-2012 at 07:53 PM.
04-19-2012 at 07:53 PM.
Quote from Piccaboo :
See my reply above - you are NOT ENTITLED TO FREEBIES from anyone; including family who owns or is in a line of business that you wish to have work done through.

You never answered the question as to what skills or marketable skills you are able to return to your own family - is there none Scratchchin

If I want my Nephew who is excellent in IT to do work on my Computer(s); we'll trade off on vehicle repair work. What do you have to offer back to your F-A-T-H-E-R in lieu of payment for repairs Scratchchin
I never said I was entitled to anything. As far as what skills I could offer him I'm not sure what that has to do with anything.
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LeannainOregon
04-19-2012 at 08:00 PM.
04-19-2012 at 08:00 PM.
Quote from emelvee :
If you don't like paying your dad, go to another shop for repairs.
LOL...you beat me to that response!

I totally agree...it's a free country...if I was getting all upset about paying for a service somewhere, I'd just go elsewhere.
Quote from Piccaboo :
You mean like doing something with their own family on the time they have off Scratchchin What a unique concept Applause

Yesterday and last night, hubby and I spent our time, mind you hubby worked a 12 hr day; and helped out a "dear friend" - to get his truck back up and running. It was raining out; he needed to get to the bank, get the part needed, ensure we had the correct part. I was "his driver" to do all of this; ran into all types of road construction during "rush hour". Got him back to his vehicle, and had him remove the bolts to this part; to double check if we had one of two parts (as there were two different models of this part) to ensure we had the correct one. The Parts store closed at 9pm, it was 8:15pm, when we discovered they gave us the correct box, with the incorrect part in it Annoyed So off we go to get the correct part. Hubby shows up where the vehicle is, and we told him we had the tools there to complete the job; but nope, could not leave them there for him, as there was no one to watch over them while we were gone.

Got back with the correct part, and there is my hubby on the ground in the rain, replacing this part for "our dear friend", with no complaints on our part whatsoever - including all the running involved.

Once we all got home, and we didn't eat hubby and I until 9:30pm or later that evening; we got a text from our friend thanking us profusely for both of our help. That was all we needed from him, nothing more; and he knew that. Now had it been some certain family members, nope, we would not have gone through all of that trouble Nono2 They don't show the appreciation; nor do we get any respect back from them. It's called A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E and the way people treat you. Maybe OP's Father charges her, due to A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E and possibly to teach her a thing or two about life in general Scratchchin

News flash - just because you are the child of someone who owns a business does NOT entitle you to "freebies" - who taught you that you were "entitled" to this OP Roll Eyes (Sarcastic)

OP we are 24/7 care givers as well for my FIL - so time is very precious to us - as you state you will care for your father in his aging days - I'm highly doubting that by your current statements. You feel "entitled" to free services, because he is in this line of work. We have never felt we were "entitled" to free services from any family member, no matter what type of field they were in. We might have traded off services with each other, but never did we feel were were "entitled" to something free, just because they knew how to do something we did not.
I really enjoyed your post.

----

My husband and I both have families where we all offer to help each other out. But, on big things, I kind of feel like it's a person's responsibility to do things on their own. If people want to offer to help, that's fine, but we would never expect it.

I.e. We recently needed to have some help on our house, so we hired someone. We don't believe in asking family members for that kind of help - i.e. long hours, hard work etc.

And, you know, some people charge everyone for anything that is business related, because they feel strongly about that. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

You've known your Dad a long time - you know how he is. You can make yourself crazy being mad that he is not the way you want him to be. Or you can accept that this is how he does things and make plans accordingly, for yourself, on what works best for you in handling that.
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noungning
04-19-2012 at 08:01 PM.
04-19-2012 at 08:01 PM.
Quote from Supergirl9801 :
I never said I was entitled to anything. As far as what skills I could offer him I'm not sure what that has to do with anything.
You know exchange in goods?

Like you've said that when he gets really old you won't let him stay at a nursing home because you're not like that... What do you offer him now? Why should he be fixing your car for you for free?
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LC2
04-19-2012 at 08:02 PM.
04-19-2012 at 08:02 PM.
Quote from Supergirl9801 :
I never said I was entitled to anything. As far as what skills I could offer him I'm not sure what that has to do with anything.
You said everyone thought it should be free until you elaborated. Please re-read what you wrote above. When was the last time you helped your parents without asking OR expecting for anything in return?
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Joined Jul 2007
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Thrifteh
04-19-2012 at 08:05 PM.
04-19-2012 at 08:05 PM.
Quote from Supergirl9801 :
I never said I was entitled to anything. As far as what skills I could offer him I'm not sure what that has to do with anything.
Give & take...if you're the only one taking in this relationship, it could certainly have a bearing on why you're being charged.
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Piccaboo
04-19-2012 at 08:09 PM.
04-19-2012 at 08:09 PM.
Quote from Supergirl9801 :
I never said I was entitled to anything. As far as what skills I could offer him I'm not sure what that has to do with anything.
You statement shows how clueless you truly are and why he charges you Rofl2

When was the last time you invited your father and mother over for a home cooked meal, and this is without asking them in some way or manner to watch your children at a later time for some reason?

When was the last time you did something nice for your father, for no reason; other than being his "daughter" and it not being his birthday, father's day, or some special day such as this?

Still clueless or feeling "entitled"?
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LC2
04-19-2012 at 08:10 PM.
04-19-2012 at 08:10 PM.
With her generation it's just gimme gimme gimme but they never have anything to offer in return. Still waiting for OP to respond to the question about why she says her father has always treated his kids unfairly.

Some kid was wondering the other day about how to get his first job when he doesn't "have any skills." Facepalm
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Last edited by LC2 April 19, 2012 at 08:12 PM.
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ALVSGIRLY
04-19-2012 at 08:15 PM.
04-19-2012 at 08:15 PM.
Quote from Supergirl9801 :
Gotta love how the first page of posters agree with not charging family members for labor, then when I elaborate the tables are turned and I'm some greedy entitled spoiled child who can't pay.
But you elaborated laugh out loud
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Piccaboo
04-19-2012 at 08:17 PM.
04-19-2012 at 08:17 PM.
Quote from ALVSGIRLY :
But you elaborated laugh out loud
I'm waiting for OP to back peddle on this one - how long and do we make bets on this Woot
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Original Poster
Supergirl9801
04-19-2012 at 08:18 PM.
04-19-2012 at 08:18 PM.
Quote from LeannainOregon :

You've known your Dad a long time - you know how he is. You can make yourself crazy being mad that he is not the way you want him to be. Or you can accept that this is how he does things and make plans accordingly, for yourself, on what works best for you in handling that.
Thanks so much for your respectful response.
Quote from noungning :
You know exchange in goods?

Like you've said that when he gets really old you won't let him stay at a nursing home because you're not like that... What do you offer him now? Why should he be fixing your car for you for free?
I guess when he's really old and needs me to run his errands or take him to the dr, or care for him when he can't care for himself I'll ask him what he has to offer me in return or tell him my" discounted family rate". I mean that's the lesson here right. Everyone's time is worth something and acts of love are not forms of payment!
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Joined Jan 2008
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ALVSGIRLY
04-19-2012 at 08:19 PM.
04-19-2012 at 08:19 PM.
Quote from Piccaboo :
I'm waiting for OP to back peddle on this one - how long and do we make bets on this Woot
Got $5 on it!
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Joined May 2006
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Piccaboo
04-19-2012 at 08:20 PM.
04-19-2012 at 08:20 PM.
Quote from LC2 :
With her generation it's just gimme gimme gimme but they never have anything to offer in return. Still waiting for OP to respond to the question about why she says her father has always treated his kids unfairly.

Some kid was wondering the other day about how to get his first job when he doesn't "have any skills." Facepalm

Must be because he made them pay for vehicle repair services so they would realize later in life that these things actually do "cost real money" and when he is DEAD and GONE - they won't be getting it for FREE anymore - maybe Scratchchin - this is why she feels they were treated unfairly - and another friend has a father with a garage or is a technician/mechanic and they don't get charged and is jealous and green with envy Stick Out Tongue
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Piccaboo
04-19-2012 at 08:23 PM.
04-19-2012 at 08:23 PM.
Quote from ALVSGIRLY :
Got $5 on it!

I'll put $5 down on it as well, and just for shits and giggles, we'll figure who ever wins gets a trip to Nordstrom's for a new pair of shoes Eyelash Not that $10 will buy us a pair of shoes at Nordstrom's Rofl2
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Pig
04-19-2012 at 08:28 PM.
04-19-2012 at 08:28 PM.
Quote from Supergirl9801 :
Thanks so much for your respectful response.

I guess when he's really old and needs me to run his errands or take him to the dr, or care for him when he can't care for himself I'll ask him what he has to offer me in return or tell him my" discounted family rate". I mean that's the lesson here right. Everyone's time is worth something and acts of love are not forms of payment!
Don't you think you should stop digging now?
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