Looking for your $.02

I'm sorry too, dear Rodent. Its amazing that anyone wouldn't be willing to help you out in those circumstances.

Wow, is it now three locked threads. Did I miss one?

Clearly! I seriously couldn't believe that mess. I do WAGS, I don't even do Rite Aid, and I could totally see where you guys and Nipsy and everyone were coming from.

OK, it's late evening, so I guess it's story time. Sitting comfortably? It's not a happy story, but it's a true one.

I too had a father once. My father passed away in November 2010. I had to make an emergency flight to Poland for his funeral.

At this point, we had a recap team for Rite Aid threads and I was a member of this team. Each member had a day of the week assigned for their recap work. It was about half an hour on average, sometimes more if the week was busy.

Obviously, dealing with grief, but also with an unexpected chance to see my mother and sister, I did not want to have to worry about a Rite Aid thread while away. Not to mention I wasn't even sure about internet connection at my Mom's.

Luckily, or so I thought, we had a person who volunteered to be a back up if any of us regular recap people couldn't handle our assigned day. The person was... yes, Supergirl, the very OP of this thread. As soon as I knew of my emergency trip, and that was a few days in advance of my recap day, I sent a PM to her. Never hear a word back. (and the person in charge of the recap team can confirm I sent this message, since she was CCed on it, as was former Mod Slayers).

Supergirl, I will say it loud and clear: you, of all people, have no right to talk about compassion, kindness, helpfulness or other values like this.

No, I don't hate you. I don't hate anyone. But no, I will not forget this, ever.

So there.

Dear coupon clippers,

Please take your bitchy , snippity attitudes back to Grocery and Drugstore forum we have our own dramas in the Lounge.

Thanks

The Lounge


What i dont get is this. The supposed fact they you automatically owe your parents because they gave birth to you. They made that decision (not you) and therefore are responsible until your can go out and get a job. You dont owe them a eternal debt of gratitude for a choice or decision they made. Should you be eternily grateful if they neglected or abused. If they made you into the wonderful happy person and successful person you are today then be appreciative but you dont automatically 'owe' them.If your success and happiness came from you not wanting to be like them do you owe them caca. In retrospect it isnt a large percentage of your overall lifespan that they clothed and fed you.

My parents raised me, spent countless amounts of money on clothes, shelter, food, gas carrying my butt places I wanted to go, took me on vacations, bought me countless gifts, listened when I needed them to, tried their best to guide me in life, and gave me more precious memories than I can count. I owe them more than they will EVER owe me, and I would never dream of acting like they owe me something now or in the future.



I just wanted to bold that. Carry on.

...

Yeah, if they were doing things for OTHER family members. Nobody said they expected to get free work/labor/favors from their family. Obviously people are going to agree that they normally wouldn't charge a family member when you leave that little gem out.

You didn't have to actually say anything. Your tone and your attitude says it all.

OK, it's late evening, so I guess it's story time. Sitting comfortably? It's not a happy story, but it's a true one.

I too had a father once. My father passed away in November 2010. I had to make an emergency flight to Poland for his funeral.

At this point, we had a recap team for Rite Aid threads and I was a member of this team. Each member had a day of the week assigned for their recap work. It was about half an hour on average, sometimes more if the week was busy.

Obviously, dealing with grief, but also with an unexpected chance to see my mother and sister, I did not want to have to worry about a Rite Aid thread while away. Not to mention I wasn't even sure about internet connection at my Mom's.

Luckily, or so I thought, we had a person who volunteered to be a back up if any of us regular recap people couldn't handle our assigned day. The person was... yes, Supergirl, the very OP of this thread. As soon as I knew of my emergency trip, and that was a few days in advance of my recap day, I sent a PM to her. Never hear a word back. (and the person in charge of the recap team can confirm I sent this message, since she was CCed on it, as was former Mod Slayers).

Supergirl, I will say it loud and clear: you, of all people, have no right to talk about compassion, kindness, helpfulness or other values like this.

No, I don't hate you. I don't hate anyone. But no, I will not forget this, ever.

So there.

Dear coupon clippers,

Please take your bitchy , snippity attitudes back to Grocery and Drugstore forum we have our own dramas in the Lounge.

Thanks

The Lounge

Gratitude is an attitude. Kudos to OP's father for attempting to teach his children that we are owed nothing in this world. Too many parents (these days) swoop in and 'save the day' or loan money knowing they will forgive the loan. This kind of parenting teaches nothing more than a lack of responsibility, which perpetuates entitlement. Too many parents want to be their child(ren)'s friend rather than than a role model, teacher & disciplinararian.

I live next door to my parents and often ask them to help me with things around my house. The difference between the OP & me is that I say "Can I please hire you to do xyz?" More often than not they refuse cash payment. So I will give them a gift card to a restaurant they enjoy or their favorite beer or something else that I know they would enjoy. I also think about them at times when I don't need a 'favor'. If I'm baking something for my family or cooking a meal that I know they'd enjoy I make extra and deliver it (across the yard ) to them. If I come across something in the store that I know they use and it's a pretty good deal, I pick it yo for them...just because. The point that I'm trying to make is that it is far more important to be mindful of what you bring to the relationship versus what you get from the other person(s).

The statement 'this is how your father makes a living' resonates with me. Perhaps he is taking on side jobs and by taking on your vehicle repair he might be losing out on a non familial paying customer.

OP, if your dad did the work for you pro bono, how would you show your gratitude?

Scampster's - I invited these folks to come here and tell us about OP and their experiences with OP from the Drugstore Forum; as I was perusing that Forum, using a search and found some interesting threads and comments. I figured they, themselves would be better to speak on this, than I would. Although I did find interesting information; coming straight from people involved with OP, was much more enlightening. So don't shoe them away when another Lounger invited them into this thread. Thank you

What little gem did I leave out???

If he didn't ask for money for his time I would MOST CERTAINLY offer something...helping him around the house, in his garden, with his business' website. There's numerous things I would do to "repay" him for his labor...because THAT'S the kind of daughter I am. I am NOT ungrateful as you all seem to think I am. This is simply a moral question that creeped into my head and I posted a simple question on here to get everyone else's opinion on it. And now a select few want to keep posting and bashing and trying to make me feel like a horrible human being.

Seriously right! The slammers have followed me here..this is getting old.

Couldn't agree more....if I wanted slammed by haters I would've posted this question in the chat threads over there...sheesh. I wanted unbiased opinions.
If he didn't ask for money for his time I would MOST CERTAINLY offer something...helping him around the house, in his garden, with his business' website. There's numerous things I would do to "repay" him for his labor...because THAT'S the kind of daughter I am. I am NOT ungrateful as you all seem to think I am. This is simply a moral question that creeped into my head and I posted a simple question on here to get everyone else's opinion on it. And now a select few want to keep posting and bashing and trying to make me feel like a horrible human being.

Scampster's - I invited these folks to come here and tell us about OP and their experiences with OP from the Drugstore Forum; as I was perusing that Forum, using a search and found some interesting threads and comments. I figured they, themselves would be better to speak on this, than I would. Although I did find interesting information; coming straight from people involved with OP, was much more enlightening. So don't shoe them away when another Lounger invited them into this thread. Thank you

Thanks for the input. Unfortunately I'm going through this with my father. He is a master mechanic and I believe has always treated his kids unfairly IMO. I am certainly not trying to be greedy or ungrateful and truly appreciate his talents and would certainly offer him something for his labor. I just told like being charged for his labor. It just rubs me the wrong way and I was wondering if I was off my rocker for feeling that way. I've never asked for him to put working on my car in front of any paying customers car, and I have always operated on his schedule, yet he still insists on charging me for his time. Granted it's not the full shop rate, but I still can't help but feel it's just wrong. My mom totally disagrees with me and says this is how he makes his living and he's doing it at a discount and I'm a grown woman with a steady regular income, blah blah blah. I get all that, and that's why I think it should be at my discretion to pay him. Maybe it is being selfish. But I have kids of my own and would never charge them for something I could help with...regardless how much time it involved. Agh!

My father's a mechanic, too and he doesn't make me pay for his services but that's because I usually do most of the work. See I don't just drop the car off at his house and come back later when it's fixed. I invest time to learn what he is so knowledgeable about, so that when he's gone I'm not stuck if something goes wrong. It also means I get to bond with my father. He's teaching me something new, and I'm learning by doing it. I buy the parts and he shows me what to do and if I'm having trouble, he steps in. But it's fun for us and I would never just drop off a car and expect it to be done. If there's something that needs to be done and we can't fit it into our schedule to get it fixed then I go to a mechanic that has the time and PAY him what it costs.

But my father doesn't own a business anymore, because he didn't charge people for the labor because he was friends with them or felt sorry for them. So I think your father is perfectly justified in charging you if you're treating everything like a shop and not as bonding time where you're helping out and learning from him. That's why parents have kids, to teach them about who they are and all the things they know and incourage the kids to find themselves.

If you were doing the majority of the work, then yes I think it would be unfair for him to charge you for labor. But if he is doing it all, then you should be charged. But your argument that you'll take care of him when he's old only works if he gets to that stage, he may die of a heart attack tomorrow and you would have nothing to show for your argument of repaying him later. Invest the time now and learn his trade if you think you shouldn't have to pay...otherwise pay the man for his services, because if you didn't live close by, you'd be paying someone else.

I wasnt defending you in all honesty but noone else but you knows what you endured growing up beside you. Maybe you were a latch key kid and had to make all your own meals . I guess everyone on SD had a Network TV familly from the 1950's and lived in towns similar to Mayberry with the white picket fences.
Isnt it a kind of entitlement for parents to assume you owe them for simplying bringing you into the world and some form of social conditioning to think that all children 'owe' a life time of endenture and servitude to their parents. When you in all honesty you know nothing of what the OP had for a life as a child.


but really who cares you dont know the OP and if they never post in the Lounge know one here knows the OP. How do you know any of the bitchy comments made by others on that other part of SD are even valid. How do you know its not a clique like the ones in the lounge have formed that she simply isnt part of.

I think many of the regulars here in the Lounge, are also regulars over there ----------> in the Drugstore Forum as well, and knew a lot about her as well Having their input, verified her A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E and I do not necessarily believe it's a clique mentality that came here and voiced their opinions. I've posted in the Drugstore Forum, with no issues; I know how to ignore those who are "rude"; same with this Forum here Don't we all by now; after being here for years

How are your neighbor's doing Scampster's - mine are still biaotchy Are your's

My father's a mechanic, too and he doesn't make me pay for his services but that's because I usually do most of the work. See I don't just drop the car off at his house and come back later when it's fixed. I invest time to learn what he is so knowledgeable about, so that when he's gone I'm not stuck if something goes wrong. It also means I get to bond with my father. He's teaching me something new, and I'm learning by doing it. I buy the parts and he shows me what to do and if I'm having trouble, he steps in. But it's fun for us and I would never just drop off a car and expect it to be done. If there's something that needs to be done and we can't fit it into our schedule to get it fixed then I go to a mechanic that has the time and PAY him what it costs.

But my father doesn't own a business anymore, because he didn't charge people for the labor because he was friends with them or felt sorry for them. So I think your father is perfectly justified in charging you if you're treating everything like a shop and not as bonding time where you're helping out and learning from him. That's why parents have kids, to teach them about who they are and all the things they know and incourage the kids to find themselves.

If you were doing the majority of the work, then yes I think it would be unfair for him to charge you for labor. But if he is doing it all, then you should be charged. But your argument that you'll take care of him when he's old only works if he gets to that stage, he may die of a heart attack tomorrow and you would have nothing to show for your argument of repaying him later. Invest the time now and learn his trade if you think you shouldn't have to pay...otherwise pay the man for his services, because if you didn't live close by, you'd be paying someone else.