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Forum Thread

Am I required to disclose this information before having sex?

7,598 277 March 29, 2007 at 05:33 AM in Question
My girlfriend was informed by her gynocologist that she has the human papillomavirus, or HPV. It's impossible to tell who had it first, but I'm most likely a carrier now as well. For those of you who don't know, HPV is a virus that's said to be a prerequisite for cervical cancer in women. Men can carry the virus, but it's nearly harmless for them.

Some HPV facts from wikipedia:
Quote :
HPV is the most common sexual transmitted infection in the United States. In the United States approximately 20-million people are currently infected with HPV about 6.2 million Americans will get infected with genital HPV this year.

24.5% prevalence of HPV among females 14 to 19 years old
44.8% prevalence of HPV among females 20 to 24 years old
27.4% prevalence of HPV among females 25 to 29 years old
27.5% prevalence of HPV among females 30 to 39 years old
25.2% prevalence of HPV among females 40 to 49 years old
19.6% prevalence of HPV among females 50 to 59 years old

In the absence of Pap testing or treatment, about 1% of women with genital HPV infections will eventually go on to develop cervical cancer.

Women who have Pap testing or other cervical cancer screenings on a regular basis dramatically decrease their chances of developing cervical cancer.

A 2006 study of 82 college students suggests that condoms can be up to 70% effective for preventing genital HPV infection if used for every sexual encounter.
Here's my question. Am I required to disclose this information before having relations with another woman? I have a feeling that everyone's kneejerk reaction will be "yes", but please consider the following. There's a huge chance that the woman already has the virus, and if she doesn't already she'll probably get it in the future*. With a condom, she probably won't get it from me anyway. With pap testing, there's a very very low risk of cancer. And quite frankly, I feel that she won't know all the facts and will think it's a bigger deal than it actually is.

Thoughts?







*Genital HPV infection is very common, with estimates suggesting that more than 50% of women will become infected with one or more of the sexually transmitted HPV types at some point during adulthood.[7]

The American Social Health Association projections in 2006 were yet more pessimistic, predicting that about 75% of the reproductive population will have been infected with genital HPV infection in their lifetime.
Would YOU disclose that you're an HPV carrier? (please read the wiki facts first)
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Caydensmom
03-29-2007 at 06:00 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:00 AM.
Quote from lippy_grl1 :
women get paps every year (or they should) and most OB/GYNS now use the Thin-Prep Pap Test which screens for HPV...so they most likely do know. I think the people screaming yes would say the same thing to a woman if she were asking the question.
This is one more reason why it is so important to get those yearly's done. nod
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~Kimber~
03-29-2007 at 06:00 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:00 AM.
Quote from thegoalie :
I know that it's not the wart variety, because I don't show any symptoms.

Are you married? If not, am I to assume that you inform your partners that you carry the virus if you do? Do you even KNOW if you do?
Yes, I'm married and yes, I've been tested. I have more than one friend with HPV and each time they found out, it was devastating. Count yourself lucky that you don't have any symptoms, a male friend, his penis was covered in warts in a very short time. The virus hit him hard. He had to use a cream every day. He found out later that the girl knew beforehand and never told him. Their relationship did not last.

So then, he was alone, with the wart variety of HPV. What do you think his relationship prospects were after that?
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lippy_grl1
03-29-2007 at 06:00 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:00 AM.
Quote from Ram|bunc|tious :
Bet you a $1 that if the question were phrased differently, that the results of the poll would be very different. ie "If you're at a party, feeling pretty good, just met someone and there's a good chance you'll hook up later ... do you tell them?" Add alcohol/rec stuff to the mix then its really skewed.
yes if you have an ounce of conscience
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scorpioguy
03-29-2007 at 06:01 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:01 AM.
Quote from thegoalie :
I know that it's not the wart variety, because I don't show any symptoms.

Are you married? If not, am I to assume that you inform your partners that you carry the virus if you do? Do you even KNOW if you do?
its besides the point whether kimber has any STD or if she tells her partners....
the point is ... YOU probably have it cos ur gf has it and you dont know who had it first.
so YOU should tell your future partners.
would you? i doubt you will.
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moey
03-29-2007 at 06:01 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:01 AM.
Can you imagine telling your wife down the road when she has a problem you new about it but failed to tell her.
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Original Poster
thegoalie
03-29-2007 at 06:01 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:01 AM.
Quote from lippy_grl1 :
women get paps every year (or they should) and most OB/GYNS now use the Thin-Prep Pap Test which screens for HPV...so they most likely do know. I think the people screaming yes would say the same thing to a woman if she were asking the question.
Ah, but do THEY practice what they preach? I'd really like to hear from all of the people in the "YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" crowd.

1) Do you know with certainty that you have or do not have the virus?

2) If yes, have you ever told a partner about it?

I have a feeling that no one will answer yes to question #2. I have another hunch that no one will answer yes to question #1, either. Even though, statistically, a good number of women and men will be carriers.
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Caydensmom
03-29-2007 at 06:04 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:04 AM.
Quote from thegoalie :
Ah, but do THEY practice what they preach? I'd really like to hear from all of the people in the "YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" crowd.

1) Do you know with certainty that you have or do not have the virus?

2) If yes, have you ever told a partner about it?

I have a feeling that no one will answer yes to question #2. I have another hunch that no one will answer yes to question #1, either. Even though, statistically, a good number of women and men will be carriers.
1.) Yes I do know for certian I do not have the virus.
2.) Yes I have discussed this with my partner.

let me specify if I did have the virus I would discuss it with my partner.
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thegoalie
03-29-2007 at 06:05 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:05 AM.
Quote from Ram|bunc|tious :
Bet you a $1 that if the question were phrased differently, that the results of the poll would be very different. ie "If you're at a party, feeling pretty good, just met someone and there's a good chance you'll hook up later ... do you tell them?" Add alcohol/rec stuff to the mix then its really skewed.
Iagree The poll is 11-2 right now. Common sense tells me that the poll numbers don't agree with reality. Not even close.
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lippy_grl1
03-29-2007 at 06:06 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:06 AM.
Goalie...it is not the end of the world. Perhaps you can speak with a health care provider..I am not sure if there is a way for you to be screened, I am sure there is. Ask your GF to make an appointment for the both of you to meet with him/her and discuss the options.
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AggieMom
03-29-2007 at 06:06 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:06 AM.
Quote from thegoalie :
I have a feeling that all the people who are screaming "yes yes yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" have no idea if they have the virus, and haven't given a second thought to finding out and informing their partners as much.
Ummm... Yes, I have it. I found out shortly after I was married as part of a routine pap test. I had to have a colposcopy which is where the doctor snips off a portion of a woman's cervix. NOT PLEASANT.... Thank goodness mine turned out to not be the dangerous kind, but as a result of that experience 7 years ago I am now required to get a pap test every 6 months instead of annually, and my insurance company is a PITA about it every time because I'm allowed only one well-woman screening a year at the OB.

So yeah... I'd tell.

If you're man enough to do the deed shouldn't you be man enough to tell the woman all the facts?? Here's a hint.... don't tell her as you are putting the condom on. This needs to be a daylight over coffee conversation.
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scorpioguy
03-29-2007 at 06:06 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:06 AM.
Quote from thegoalie :
Ah, but do THEY practice what they preach? I'd really like to hear from all of the people in the "YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" crowd.

1) Do you know with certainty that you have or do not have the virus?

2) If yes, have you ever told a partner about it?

I have a feeling that no one will answer yes to question #2. I have another hunch that no one will answer yes to question #1, either. Even though, statistically, a good number of women and men will be carriers.

ok goalie, did you start this thread to discuss other peoples problems or YOUR problem...
who cares who has hpv or any other std....YOU probably have it. get tested and chances are you have HPV...if you do the right thing to do would be to tell future partners.

answers.1) no i dont have hpv, i know for certain.
2) if i did , i would tell them.
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Ram|bunc|tious
03-29-2007 at 06:07 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:07 AM.
Quote from thegoalie :
Iagree The poll is 11-2 right now. Common sense tells me that the poll numbers don't agree with reality. Not even close.
Iagree and I'm betting that most taking the poll are in a relationship...
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Saxidani
03-29-2007 at 06:07 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:07 AM.
Quote from thegoalie :
Ah, but do THEY practice what they preach? I'd really like to hear from all of the people in the "YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" crowd.

1) Do you know with certainty that you have or do not have the virus?

2) If yes, have you ever told a partner about it?

I have a feeling that no one will answer yes to question #2. I have another hunch that no one will answer yes to question #1, either. Even though, statistically, a good number of women and men will be carriers.
1) Yes, I know with absolute certainty that I do not have HPV. That is what regular gyn/ pap screenings are for. It is about womens health, and I take that seriously, as I am sure all women do.

And yes, both my partner and I have discussed openly everything about our health. That is a part of being in a relationship, being honest with one another. You should both care enough about each other to look out for their health as well as your own.
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moey
03-29-2007 at 06:09 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:09 AM.
www.stdfriends.com
www.stdsingles.com

You dont have to tell anyone they will know when you show up for the date.

More then 90% of the population caries type I herpes a very large percentage carry hpv. It probably something you want to discuss. Theres probably a good probability your partner may have something to discuss themselves.
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~Kimber~
03-29-2007 at 06:09 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:09 AM.
I am just completely disgusted that you are trying to turn this around on us because you don't want to do the right thing.
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