Joined Dec 2014
L3: Novice
Forum Thread
How to Host an Inexpensive Wedding
April 6, 2016 at
06:49 AM
in
Wedding & Bridal
(3)
So I recently got engaged, and holy shit was I surprised when I found out how much the average wedding in the U.S. costs (about 30k for those unaware). Being a slickdealer I was immediately suspicious at what appears to be an outrageous cost, for basically throwing a large party. Like anything else in life, I know that there are ways to save money when hosting such an event, but I'm having a really hard time figuring out how. I have tried posting in specific wedding forums, but have been met with tons of negativity, and claims that it can't be done, from people who's opinions seem very suspect to me.
Maybe I'm just being an arrogant misinformed dick, but I find it very hard to believe that a wedding HAS to cost this much money. I feel like the slickdeals community can resolve this question for me once and for all, so here it is:
Were you able to have a relatively inexpensive wedding? Estimate what your cost was per guest? How did you save money? What were the sacrifices/compromises that you made?
Personally, I have a pretty specific idea of what I want at my wedding. If you have any saving ideas that apply to my plans specifically please let me know.
What I envision:
Outside wedding in a beautiful field under a tent in New England early September with about 150-200 guests (no church/priest, so saving money there). I want to host my guests appropriately so I want an open bar and a fully catered wedding with music. I feel like location/space, food, booze, music, and bathrooms are all you need to host a fun filled wedding, so why does it cost so much?
What I think I need:
1. Venue, large field, requires lots of parking, access to electricity, bathrooms (or option of port-a-potties). How do I get this cheap?
2. Booze, seems pretty self explanatory, buy it yourself and you'll save way more money than if you purchase through a middle man.
3. Food, I believe you can get pretty good catering for about 25 bucks a person. What did you guys pay? Does it make a difference in price that it is being held outdoors?
4. Bathrooms, hopefully on site, but if not renting port-a-potties. Any specific way to get nicer ones on the cheap?
5. Music, probably rent a sound system and make my own playlist. Are there businesses that offer this type of thing at a lower price bracket?
6. Tent, this own is expensive, I can't seem to find large tent rentals that seem like they are fairly priced. It is a very unique item, so maybe this is something I will have to pay for.
7. Various rentals, tables, chairs, linens, dinnerware, wineglasses, dance floor, stage.
Thanks for the help
-Ben
Maybe I'm just being an arrogant misinformed dick, but I find it very hard to believe that a wedding HAS to cost this much money. I feel like the slickdeals community can resolve this question for me once and for all, so here it is:
Were you able to have a relatively inexpensive wedding? Estimate what your cost was per guest? How did you save money? What were the sacrifices/compromises that you made?
Personally, I have a pretty specific idea of what I want at my wedding. If you have any saving ideas that apply to my plans specifically please let me know.
What I envision:
Outside wedding in a beautiful field under a tent in New England early September with about 150-200 guests (no church/priest, so saving money there). I want to host my guests appropriately so I want an open bar and a fully catered wedding with music. I feel like location/space, food, booze, music, and bathrooms are all you need to host a fun filled wedding, so why does it cost so much?
What I think I need:
1. Venue, large field, requires lots of parking, access to electricity, bathrooms (or option of port-a-potties). How do I get this cheap?
2. Booze, seems pretty self explanatory, buy it yourself and you'll save way more money than if you purchase through a middle man.
3. Food, I believe you can get pretty good catering for about 25 bucks a person. What did you guys pay? Does it make a difference in price that it is being held outdoors?
4. Bathrooms, hopefully on site, but if not renting port-a-potties. Any specific way to get nicer ones on the cheap?
5. Music, probably rent a sound system and make my own playlist. Are there businesses that offer this type of thing at a lower price bracket?
6. Tent, this own is expensive, I can't seem to find large tent rentals that seem like they are fairly priced. It is a very unique item, so maybe this is something I will have to pay for.
7. Various rentals, tables, chairs, linens, dinnerware, wineglasses, dance floor, stage.
Thanks for the help
-Ben
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This is not meant to negate the fact that shit happens, but this is the case even in mid-Summer. There is a risk involved, but it is a risk I am willing to take.
FTR if I was outside in 57 degree weather in my wedding dress I would be freezing, same goes for most guests.
Thats why we paid for our own wedding so I had it the way I wanted. Plus we are old hags so ain't no one paying for it at our age.
1 Hire a "Cradle to Grave" Wedding Coordinator. You've already stated the bride is having trouble keeping track of all the decisions to make, etc..
In a business sense, this person is now your Project Manager and the project happens to be a wedding.
2 Don't discount the experience of those you eventually hire. That should be part of what they bring to the table. Do you take your car to a shade tree mechanic or a shop that specializes in your model of car?
3 For the actual ceremony, the Minister is the "Master of Ceremonies" for the wedding...the whole part why you and the bride are actually showing up. There is no Do-Overs for the ceremony. I strongly urge you not to throw some family member or friend up at the alter with something to read. They are the ONLY one that can break the 4th wall and direct things should something not go as planned and they have the experience to see this, react to it BEFORE your guests see there is a problem.
4 Venue and Food...simply put, you get what you pay for. Period. They have to pay the wait staff and food prep people and pass that along to you. Rent a hall and get food delivered in the chafing dishes and have a buffet...only have to open the lids on stuff and you are done...or PAY for full service..if you want FULL service.
5 DJ...aka the Master of Ceremony of your PARTY!!!! as others have mentioned, they keep the flow and direct your guests to each phase of your party...some buddy with an iPOD ain't going to make this happen...did you rent a Mic for the PA also...? Details, details...
6 Do you want your close family to WORK your party or actually BE A GUEST (honored ones that that I'd hope)?
7 Your bridal party can't be in 2 places at the same time. Don't have them "Help" and be in a tux or nice dress...you can't be the DJ and be in the group photos at the same time.
8 this goes on and on...but the #1 thing to do is at the top of this list.
I think we will end up going with a wedding planner, but I do not think that this advice applies to everyone. I know that if the burden of wedding planning was placed on my shoulders instead of my fiancés I would take on the task myself.
I just don't agree with 3. I do not think you can apply this advice wholesale to everyone. I have at least 2 people in my family who would make great masters of ceremony, they are natural public speakers and very funny to boot. They are being included in the ceremony, and I would not consider this being "put to work".
4) The age old "you get what you pay for" argument. You are using a car analogy, I can use my own. When you go to buy a new car do you shop around? Why do you bother? You have decided on a car, does it matter where you buy it? Of course it does, shopping around and playing the competition against each other saves you money for the exact same product.
If I can sit down at a restaurant and get an amazing meal for 30 dollars, why can't that meal be catered for a similar price? There are obviously different variables involved, but I find it hard to believe that it costs the catering service more than double the cost of a restaurant to supply the same quality food.
This is not meant to negate the fact that shit happens, but this is the case even in mid-Summer. There is a risk involved, but it is a risk I am willing to take.
congrats on the upcoming nuptials
I managed to do our wedding for around $6k. We planned for 52 guests. $32 per guest for food/drinks.
I managed to do our wedding for around $6k. We planned for 52 guests. $32 per guest for food/drinks.
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Have you actually gotten quotes from anyone yet? If not, I strongly suggest you do and you can ask some of these same questions. You'll also get prices appropriate for your area.
Have you actually gotten quotes from anyone yet? If not, I strongly suggest you do and you can ask some of these same questions. You'll also get prices appropriate for your area.
This does not just apply to weddings, but most things in general. You generally compromise on the quality or quantity to get a lower price for whatever you buy
I have gotten quotes, and I'm constantly finding less expensive options that don't seem much different in terms of quality or service. I understand that everyone's view of quality is different, but I'm interested in what the bottom line is that people have been able to pay for these services. Not through a friend or anything, but through an actual company that regularly supplies the services. Once a price range is established, it will be much easier for me to assess if I'm getting a good deal.
"You generally compromise on the quality or quantity to get a lower price for whatever you buy" Sure, this is true as a general rule, but in actual practice you can break this rule 100 times over. If I want to buy headphones for 100 dollars there are so many options, some will be an awesome deal at that price, lots will be ok, and some will be a terrible deal. Even better I can wait for a sale and get a pair of headphones valued at 100 dollars for significantly less. It is much harder to make these sort of assessments when purchasing services, but I believe that it can be done.
I am in search of the best deal, I may not be able to replicate it, but at least I can attempt to get close or get a price where I don't believe I'm getting screwed.
as you've mentioned, there's such a thing as playing one vendor against the other, but the wedding industry is somewhat unique in that the good service providers can basically have a "take it or leave it" stance because demand is relatively static; people are always getting married, usually during the same two time frames in a year. good venues know they're going to book one to two years in advance, so they have zero incentive to negotiate price/terms. weddings are the least favorite/profitable gigs for most caterers, so established ones, again, have almost zero incentive to negotiate. we at Slickdeals deal mostly in physical products, where there are incentives for retailers to discount specific units for a variety of reasons. the service economy is simply different, especially in the wedding industry.
the best overall advice i can give is to make use of professionals you know and limit the side stuff (flowers, centerpieces, decorations, favors, and other accoutrements). i'm not nearly as against utilizing friends/family as mmathis: i knew a good/established photographer, so i got a big break on that; same with the videographer. one of my relatives was a baker, so we got the cake as a wedding present. again, some of the best MC work i've ever seen was by friends of the couple, and i've seen very expensive DJs try to put on a show or misread the room and clash with the crowd all night. one friend of mine has been in music in some capacity since high school, and he's probably done a dozen weddings for friends. he prefers that because, let's face it, most guys don't like attending weddings, so he at least gets to enjoy it by playing music. as i said above, unless you have a personal connection that can get you one of the major things at a discount, you're going to have to make compromises to save a significant amount of money.
of course, you can always try looking into less established/smaller providers who might be able to give you the same level of service at a lower cost because they're still making a name for themselves, but that obviously carries a level of risk.
100% disagree here. you are going to need someone on the mic to announce everything from the cake cutting to the first dances to the speeches, as well as tell the guests when they can eat and any other information they need to know. good ones will also interact with the crowd to keep the mood up, calling out fun stuff happening on the dance floor and passing the mic if anyone has something they want to say.
Ok, but would you consider these small announcements work? It really depends on the individual, but if they enjoy being in the spotlight and aren't stressed by public speaking I could see it actually being enjoyable for some people. Even with these announcements I couldn't picture them being on the mic for more than 40 minutes total throughout the entire day. It may be annoying for them to have to keep track of some sort of schedule though, especially if they are engaged in an interesting conversation or something and realize they have to get up and make an announcement.
All I (and others) am saying is that while it may look good on paper to fill up an iPod and just hit play for the reception, there are some very real reasons to spend more money and hire a DJ, and that maybe this isn't the area to skimp on.
It all depends on your particular situation, of course. You may have friends and family that would prefer to work at your wedding instead of attend it. Just make sure you understand the distinction.
I'm not your guy then
My wedding was decidedly a non-traditional affair.
I went the other route. We had maybe 110 ish at probably the premier venue in the area which I think ran us around $110/pp for the stations reception. We held it 11/1 instead of earlier because there was close to a $40/pp drop in price for the "winter" season which started on 11/1 which was a Friday night. If we went with a Saturday reception it would have been something like a 20-25k minimum.
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