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Serious question for you older and maybe younger women out there...do you still want sexy, sexy time after 50? No OT please.

4,298 360 April 13, 2018 at 05:28 PM in Chat (3)
I am getting a lot of excuses as my gal gets older, she says it's all ever think of, but I don't buy that. I think she should be happy, most guys my age are limp noodles,broken down, fat, and half dead..
I say if theres a problem lets fix it. I only want women's opinions in this thread please..

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Joined Aug 2003
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Original Poster
fsyowad
04-14-2018 at 12:54 AM.
04-14-2018 at 12:54 AM.
Quote from xxxHolic :
maybe you should ask her for open relationship?
I already have one of those with my right hand.
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Joined Nov 2006
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DBC
04-14-2018 at 01:44 AM.
04-14-2018 at 01:44 AM.
Quote from xxxHolic :
maybe you should ask her for open relationship?
Slow your role, man. You've been watching too much TV to believe that is an appropriate question to ask
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Joined Jan 2010
Cajun Trollop
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Ms.arteest
04-14-2018 at 02:04 AM.
04-14-2018 at 02:04 AM.
There's lots of things that could be the problem off a combination of two or more. Reveal have been mentioned, self esteem and menopause bring two big things.

You have several times mentioned what we as women expect. We are also trained from early age that men want certain things, whether all men want the same thing isn't always discussed. The biggest thing is youth and the more perfect body/face/tone, skin, etc. that comes with youth. It's hard for us to transition as we look in the mirror everyday and see things "heading south". We, no matter how far we feel we've progressed as a society, still accept that men become "distinguished" with age and women become old. Even if we are told that we still look good, it's hard to accept when youthful beauty and sex are everywhere we look.

You mentioned breast cancer. I'm not sure what kind of treatment she had or still has but that can really kill your sex drive, as can a lack of hormones from menopause. Her Dr may have suggestions on how to handle that. For many women a few months of testosterone (yes, it's in our body too) helps immensely. There are other things that can help.

Lastly, have things gotten routine? If so, maybe ask her what would help. Romance? Spontaneity? Travel? Don't accept a lack of answers. Many times one or the other will give up and not push for dialog. If everything else fails, tell her that it's a deal breaker. Be blatantly honest. She may just be taking things for granted and may need "shaking up". We all occasionally need a wake-up call If nothing works, find someone who can appreciate you. Life's is far too short to settle.
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boartstarr
04-14-2018 at 06:51 AM.
04-14-2018 at 06:51 AM.
Quote from finzz2dlft :
wow....just....wow

That's all I wanted to hear ... Can I watch the news tomorrow?.. Will strive for W.J.W.
🎆🎆🎆
.
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Last edited by boartstarr April 14, 2018 at 07:12 AM.
Joined Jan 2007
Free hugs!
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uniquename
04-14-2018 at 08:26 AM.
04-14-2018 at 08:26 AM.
Just to give you something else to think about:

Is this the only thing in the relationship you aren't getting?
Is there something she is needing that you aren't providing?

Are you out there thinking "I can do better because I'm not a limp noodle,broken down, fat, and half dead"? If so...are you willing to take that risk as compared to what else you have in the relationship?

I desperately want to ask frequency...but I won't. A few times a week isn't as bad as every few months, and really a big difference. Perhaps you are getting a normal amount?
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Original Poster
fsyowad
04-15-2018 at 12:03 AM.
04-15-2018 at 12:03 AM.
Quote from uniquename :
Just to give you something else to think about:

Is this the only thing in the relationship you aren't getting?
Is there something she is needing that you aren't providing?

Are you out there thinking "I can do better because I'm not a limp noodle,broken down, fat, and half dead"? If so...are you willing to take that risk as compared to what else you have in the relationship?

I desperately want to ask frequency...but I won't. A few times a week isn't as bad as every few months, and really a big difference. Perhaps you are getting a normal amount?
Well you could say the spicket has pretty much been turned off. for the last 18 months. She makes promises she does not keep. She really wants me to be one of those guys that is ok with this..I think she thinks its all way too much work. In the past with dry spells after things get started up again she gets in the grove again and all is well. Thats why i asked are most women ok with this later in life? I am assuming by the lack of responses most are. I don't think this is healthy at all.
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Joined Aug 2003
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Original Poster
fsyowad
04-15-2018 at 12:40 AM.
04-15-2018 at 12:40 AM.
Quote from Ms.arteest :
There's lots of things that could be the problem off a combination of two or more. Reveal have been mentioned, self esteem and menopause bring two big things.

You have several times mentioned what we as women expect. We are also trained from early age that men want certain things, whether all men want the same thing isn't always discussed. The biggest thing is youth and the more perfect body/face/tone, skin, etc. that comes with youth. It's hard for us to transition as we look in the mirror everyday and see things "heading south". We, no matter how far we feel we've progressed as a society, still accept that men become "distinguished" with age and women become old. Even if we are told that we still look good, it's hard to accept when youthful beauty and sex are everywhere we look.

You mentioned breast cancer. I'm not sure what kind of treatment she had or still has but that can really kill your sex drive, as can a lack of hormones from menopause. Her Dr may have suggestions on how to handle that. For many women a few months of testosterone (yes, it's in our body too) helps immensely. There are other things that can help.

Lastly, have things gotten routine? If so, maybe ask her what would help. Romance? Spontaneity? Travel? Don't accept a lack of answers. Many times one or the other will give up and not push for dialog. If everything else fails, tell her that it's a deal breaker. Be blatantly honest. She may just be taking things for granted and may need "shaking up". We all occasionally need a wake-up call If nothing works, find someone who can appreciate you. Life's is far too short to settle.
Shes a planner and has to gear up for those special days, she thinks she really has to go to town, I hate this. In her younger days she was Home coming queen, , most popular ect, probably because she was stacked.. I don't know how she did it but she almost got her Doctorate from UCF. But she started having seizures he last year. I think her looks helped out alot.

I bought her a nice exercise bike to use, so she can feel better.She is actually starting to use it every day. I am hoping it helps with any depression she might have.
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uniquename
04-15-2018 at 08:47 AM.
04-15-2018 at 08:47 AM.
Quote from fsyowad :
Well you could say the spicket has pretty much been turned off. for the last 18 months. She makes promises she does not keep. She really wants me to be one of those guys that is ok with this..I think she thinks its all way too much work. In the past with dry spells after things get started up again she gets in the grove again and all is well. Thats why i asked are most women ok with this later in life? I am assuming by the lack of responses most are. I don't think this is healthy at all.
That long...I am with you. If you were complaining it was only twice a week...I'd say you needed to evaluate.
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BostonGirl
04-15-2018 at 09:39 AM.
04-15-2018 at 09:39 AM.
Quote from fsyowad :
Well you could say the spicket has pretty much been turned off. for the last 18 months. She makes promises she does not keep. She really wants me to be one of those guys that is ok with this..I think she thinks its all way too much work. In the past with dry spells after things get started up again she gets in the grove again and all is well. Thats why i asked are most women ok with this later in life? I am assuming by the lack of responses most are. I don't think this is healthy at all.
Sounds like you assume a lot about women by your posts, hence why a lot of us aren't wasting our time replying. js
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euuser3818772
04-15-2018 at 10:48 AM.
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Joined Aug 2003
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Original Poster
fsyowad
04-15-2018 at 11:58 AM.
04-15-2018 at 11:58 AM.
Quote from BostonGirl :
Sounds like you assume a lot about women by your posts, hence why a lot of us aren't wasting our time replying. js
How inconsiderate of me...I should have just used my mind reading powers...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVgzOyHVcj4
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Joined Jun 2008
Life = YMMV
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teenbean
04-16-2018 at 10:11 AM.
04-16-2018 at 10:11 AM.
I really don't feel like there are that many women in the lounge that post regularly that are over 50? Maybe five, if that?

I don't think age has anything to do with this and is probably a physical and mental health issue or a relationship issue.

Although based on your limp noodle comments, I wonder if you are actually even pleasing her correctly. Auditioning for "When Harry met Sally" gets boring after awhile.


Let's start simple:
Only a daily basis, how much do you touch each other? Do you hug? Kiss? Even a simple peck on the cheek? Hold hands? Cuddle? If you are not doing these things multiple times a day, without the expectation of sex, then you should probably start by working on these things.
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iRabbitt
04-16-2018 at 12:07 PM.
04-16-2018 at 12:07 PM.
Leave a flesh light laying in the kitchen
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Joined Mar 2009
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Frogstar
04-16-2018 at 12:13 PM.
04-16-2018 at 12:13 PM.
Are you wooing her outside the bedroom, or just asking "am I gonna get lucky tonight?"
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Iaaaiws
04-16-2018 at 12:31 PM.
04-16-2018 at 12:31 PM.
Quote from iRabbitt :
Leave a flesh light laying in the kitchen
That sounds like advice for her, not for him.
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