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Today, a black lady asked me if I was racist. Very long... Okay, go crazy.

3,834 187 July 24, 2009 at 03:56 PM in Rant
tl;dr? gtfo then

So I have this training thing this week with a morning class and an afternoon class. Two other people are in the morning class that are also in the afternoon class (plus me) After the first class ended I waited for the (black) girl to come out and I asked her what she was going to do for the break which was three hours long. She said she didn't know but she did not have a car. I said that's okay, I do.

So we went to my car and ended up at Panera. On the way there she asked me where I lived and I told her, and I mentioned how I hated the city and she said yeah you'd probably do better in a less diverse place. (Side note: I don't like the city because there is no grass, its loud, smelly, and there are too many people) I also mentioned that I liked Indian food because there was a place in the plaza. She said she was surprised that I liked 'cultural food'. At that point I knew she thought I was racist.

Once in Panera we started studying for our exam thing and this happened.
Her: Can I asked you a question?
Me: Sure
Her: Are you racist?
Me: ....No?
Her: Of course if you were, you wouldn't say yes.
So I stare at her.. And say nothing.
Her: When you all talk about asians do you group them together or put them into separate categories?
Me: Well what do you mean 'you all'?
Her: You know, White people.
Me: Uhmmm.. Well that question would be like me asking you if all black people like peanut butter and jelly. You can't answer that because you haven't met all black people.
Her: I know, but white people (blablalba, I forget, something stupid.)
Me: Okay.. Well I'll answer the question for myself, because that's the only person I can answer it for.
I answered it.

We stopped talking about race finally and talked about other less awkward stuff.
Then she asked me to drive her home. I said sure because I didn't want her to think I WAS racist..

So then after class

On the ride home, she starts talking about Jews (I mentioned I was raised Jewish) and then she asked me why Jewish parents are so overbearing. I was so farking angry at this point so I counted to three and answered. I explained that you cannot say that all Jewish families have overbearing parents, and that mine are not, but they do want what is best for me. This went on for a bit and I was soooo angry. Eventually the conversation slowed down and then we were at her house.

As I pulled up she asked me if I could pick her up and drop her off Mon and Tues.

I said yes

Sadwalk
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Joined Dec 2004
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Schooby
07-24-2009 at 07:08 PM.
07-24-2009 at 07:08 PM.
Just tell her that you will be unable to driver her anywhere anymore. When/if she asks why you can honestly just say that she apparently thought that you are someone that you're not.
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Joined May 2006
I don't like you either
> bubble2 3,834 Posts
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Original Poster
UTR
07-24-2009 at 07:08 PM.
07-24-2009 at 07:08 PM.
Quote from Iaaaiws :
That's not really a fair thing to say. UTR doesn't have any self esteem to begin with Dontknow





Tomato
get out of my head

Quote from ForeverDcember :
UTL, I just wanted to say that I am sorry you seem to take so much shit. Here you get knocked down a lot for being "negative" or whatever else people say and I really think that sucks, but then you deal with people like that. On the one hand, I can see how if she is set in those ways it is like second nature to talk to people that way, but you can't just drop your racism/stereotype crap on people when you first meet them (I hope that made sense).
yeah, I was thinking as I was posting this, this isn't how people on SD see me, this may be interesting.
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Joined Oct 2003
L10: Grand Master
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arjunsr
07-24-2009 at 07:45 PM.
07-24-2009 at 07:45 PM.
Quote from SlickChik :
Many people are ignorant about race issues, even black people. She may have gone through some terrible things and has a negative view of white people. There may be valid reasons to her distrust. However, there are black people that have been through that and have gotten to the point where they aren't so angry and really understand racism and racial identity. I'm guessing she is young, and maybe with time she will learn more. I think that open conversation is a good start, be honest even at the chance of sounding ignorant a long as both parties understand that they have more to learn and don't intentionally say hurtful things. I think everyone has room to grow, and we need to be more understanding of other perspectives and experiences.

I would be pissed too, but try to step back and see where she might be coming from.
agreed. what a lot of people are overlooking is that racism goes beyond a dislike for other races, or just painting anything with a blank brush. it means the oppression and institutions that keep a group in submission.

there's a huge difference between a white person calling a black person v a black person calling a white person honky.
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Joined Oct 2003
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arjunsr
07-24-2009 at 08:08 PM.
07-24-2009 at 08:08 PM.
i know this went off topic, but i was unaware of the no ot. please respect it.
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Joined May 2005
Proud Barner
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TigerStar
07-24-2009 at 08:09 PM.
07-24-2009 at 08:09 PM.
Shit, didn't see the No OT. I assumed UTR had gotten some good answers.
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Joined Oct 2003
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arjunsr
07-24-2009 at 08:11 PM.
07-24-2009 at 08:11 PM.
Quote from TigerStar :
Shit, didn't see the No OT. I assumed UTR had gotten some good answers.
its why i didn't clamp down sooner. sorry utr. no warnings have been and (unless repeated) will be issued. mod oversight.
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Joined Nov 2004
Wuzzy's Best Friend
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Autumn | Staff
07-24-2009 at 08:11 PM.
07-24-2009 at 08:11 PM.
Quote from arjunsr :
i know this went off topic, but i was unaware of the no ot. please respect it.
Arj is a badass Flex Wink

Ok. On topic.

UTR...what would happen if, on Sunday night when she calls to confirm, your phone was just off the hookbusy and she couldn't get through to you?
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Joined Feb 2008
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Bareborn
07-24-2009 at 08:12 PM.
07-24-2009 at 08:12 PM.
How about you tell her to give you 14.50$ for gas. Say "you'll be savin money this way, and you know I'll be on time"
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Joined Nov 2004
Wuzzy's Best Friend
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Autumn | Staff
07-24-2009 at 08:28 PM.
07-24-2009 at 08:28 PM.
Seriously UTR...please..if you listen to nothing else we've ever said here..please back out of taking her in. She's seriously using racism as blackmail...at least that's what I think. Don't let her get away with that. She'll just continue to do that to other people.
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Joined May 2006
I don't like you either
> bubble2 3,834 Posts
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Original Poster
UTR
07-24-2009 at 08:44 PM.
07-24-2009 at 08:44 PM.
Quote from Autumn :
Arj is a badass Flex Wink

Ok. On topic.

UTR...what would happen if, on Sunday night when she calls to confirm, your phone was just off the hookbusy and she couldn't get through to you?
No, I'm going to tell her that it is a long commute already and its out of the way and I'm sorry but I can't do it. The OT that I saw was okay because it was still (sort of) related to my thread. Also, considering how much I shit in other peoples threads I wouldn't really care if you posted a picture of flying monkeys..
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Joined May 2006
I don't like you either
> bubble2 3,834 Posts
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Original Poster
UTR
07-24-2009 at 08:58 PM.
07-24-2009 at 08:58 PM.
haha... I'm going to bed
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Joined May 2006
Suspected porn star
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ForeverDecember
07-24-2009 at 09:06 PM.
07-24-2009 at 09:06 PM.
What I think is the most odd thing about the situation is, without knowing you at all, she flat out asked you if you were racist. There is just something so weird about it, I wonder what her motive is.
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Joined Mar 2009
BigDaddyYumYum
> bubble2 1,016 Posts
JBird77
07-24-2009 at 09:11 PM.
07-24-2009 at 09:11 PM.
Quote from ForeverDcember :
What I think is the most odd thing about the situation is, without knowing you at all, she flat out asked you if you were racist. There is just something so weird about it, I wonder what her motive is.
to try and guilt her into a free ride? Dontknow
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Joined May 2006
Suspected porn star
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ForeverDecember
07-24-2009 at 09:13 PM.
07-24-2009 at 09:13 PM.
Quote from JBird77 :
to try and guilt her into a free ride? Dontknow
The "black lady" is an SDer?
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BostonGirl
07-25-2009 at 12:16 AM.
07-25-2009 at 12:16 AM.
Quote from Unliketherest :
yeah im a real people pleaser, right guys?
To know you is to heart you, fark the rest of them...hug

Quote from ForeverDcember :
UTL, I just wanted to say that I am sorry you seem to take so much shit. Here you get knocked down a lot for being "negative" or whatever else people say and I really think that sucks, but then you deal with people like that. On the one hand, I can see how if she is set in those ways it is like second nature to talk to people that way, but you can't just drop your racism/stereotype crap on people when you first meet them (I hope that made sense).
Iagree UTR is good people.

Quote from Unliketherest :
haha... I'm going to bed
But I was just about to post pics of flying monkeys..Sadwalk

Quote from ForeverDcember :
The "black lady" is an SDer?
Reply
Last edited by BostonGirl July 25, 2009 at 12:16 AM.
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