RETIRED: Marlboro Outwit the West Funny Farm

IF BUD AND LOU WERE HERE TODAY

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello , and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this.
For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...
If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:


COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT



ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?



COSTELLO : Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.



ABBOTT : Mac?



COSTELLO : No, the name's Lou.



ABBOTT : Your computer?



COSTELLO : I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.



ABBOTT : Mac?



COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou .



ABBOTT : What about Windows?



COSTELLO : Why? Will it get stuffy in here?



ABBOTT : Do you want a computer with Windows?



COSTELLO : I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?



ABBOTT : Wallpaper.



COSTELLO : Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.



ABBOTT : Software for Windows?



COSTELLO : No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?



ABBOTT : Office.



COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?



ABBOTT : I just did.



COSTELLO : You just did what?



ABBOTT : Recommend something.



COSTELLO : You recommended something ?



ABBOTT : Yes.



COSTELLO : For my office?



ABBOTT : Yes.



COSTELLO : OK, what did you recommend for my office?



ABBOTT : Office.



COSTELLO : Yes, for my office!



ABBOTT : I recommend Office with Windows.



COSTELLO : I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?



ABBOTT : Word.



COSTELLO : What word?



ABBOTT : Word in Office.



COSTELLO : The only word in office is office.



ABBOTT : The Word in Office for Windows.



COSTELLO : Which word in office for windows?



ABBOTT : The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.



COSTELLO : I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?



ABBOTT: Money.



COSTELLO : That's right. What do you have?



ABBOTT : Money.



COSTELLO : I need money to track my money?



ABBOTT : It comes bundled with your computer.



COSTELLO : What's bundled with my computer?



ABBOTT : Money.



COSTELLO : Money comes with my computer?



ABBOTT : Yes. No extra charge.



COSTELLO : I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?



ABBOTT : One copy.



COSTELLO : Isn't it illegal to copy money?



ABBOTT : Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.



COSTELLO : They can give you a license to copy money?



ABBOTT : Why not? THEY OWN IT!



(A few days later)



ABBOTT : Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?



COSTELLO : How do I turn my computer off?



ABBOTT : Click on 'START'...

Congratulations! You won an instant win prize playing the Alex's Lemonade Coolest Game Around Instant Win Game. Please note that this email serves as notice that you have won a prize.

Your prize is: a $25.00 Gift Card
Time Won: 8/18/2011 11:43:11 PM

Your prize will be sent to you within 6-8 weeks.
Please Note: Limit of one (1) instant win prize per person, per household, per email address.

See Official Rules for details. Promotion ends August 27, 2011, 11:59PM EST.

Thank you for playing!

* All prize claims are subject to final verification.

I am going to play a few sweeps and then return. It is already 1 AM here and I usually start at 12. I did devote a lot of time to Camel and then to have it go no place is not fair. the same thing happened with the tin I designed for myself i sent it and when I went to look for it it is not there at all. bbl thanks for your patience. (I knew I could not fit into the kitchen sink - if I ever say bathtub or lagoon out back then worry)

I figured it our it has a slide bar on the right. Just tried again and entered. Thank you and I do not know why I am not able to rep anyone.

-----

But we needed a Phone number- I see you answered that already
If we are Frick and Frack, who were you referring to the other day as Riff and Raff?
I wanna be Frick - Jem you OK with Frack?

I see what I mean to all of you - Where does this leave me? Maybe "Ollie"? No, who then? Just Blondeey I guess is ok.

Congratulations! You won an instant win prize playing the Alex's Lemonade Coolest Game Around Instant Win Game. Please note that this email serves as notice that you have won a prize.

Your prize is: a $25.00 Gift Card
Time Won: 8/18/2011 11:43:11 PM

Your prize will be sent to you within 6-8 weeks.
Please Note: Limit of one (1) instant win prize per person, per household, per email address.

See Official Rules for details. Promotion ends August 27, 2011, 11:59PM EST.

Thank you for playing!

* All prize claims are subject to final verification.

Almost feel like I should donate it back to them.

this is the one I am having trouble with. I put the birthdate which comes up 1st then it goes to name and birthdate and that turns red and will not let me enter. I tried it 3X. any ideas please? Sorry to keep bothering you.

Yes just now thanks


I am still blonde but have no clue what we are talking about.

Watch it ! I have a light sabre and a chicken eraser.... I could do some serious damage

I figured it our it has a slide bar on the right. Just tried again and entered. Thank you and I do not know why I am not able to rep anyone.

Glad you got it figured out. I'll be back in the...........when I wake up

I hope you are feeling OK. Is that the same sprawling black dog on page one of Kenmore? With one vote?