Looking for your $.02

So, flame on and continue bashing....because that's obviously what SD has turned into. How pathetically sad

I invest time to learn what he is so knowledgeable about, so that when he's gone I'm not stuck if something goes wrong. It also means I get to bond with my father.
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That's why parents have kids, to teach them about who they are and all the things they know and incourage the kids to find themselves.
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But your argument that you'll take care of him when he's old only works if he gets to that stage, he may die of a heart attack tomorrow and you would have nothing to show for your argument of repaying him later. Invest the time now and learn his trade if you think you shouldn't have to pay...otherwise pay the man for his services, because if you didn't live close by, you'd be paying someone else.

Exactly, that's why in my earlier post I stated if someone is taking their time to fix something of yours, you should be part of the process. That might mean just holding the light for the person, grabbing them parts, or even getting them water.

Insert: You Must Be New Here image
I understood part of your comment was sarcastic. But the part about taking care of him when he's old was what didn't sit right with me. Beanqueen addresses that pretty well, though. He may not be there later for you to repay him. Repay him with what you can, while you can.


With your whole post. Just snipped it up to highlight some of the points that stood out to me the most. You might be one of the most sensible people here at SD

i do a good amount of computer work for family and some friends for free, but i don't consider computer work in the same league as car work. computer work is mostly installing drivers/uninstalling programs/configuring the system while we're sitting there chatting in a nice climate-controlled house while i'm sipping on some ice water, so i consider it a bonus if i just get fed. if your father is out in his shop with your car up on a lift or in his work gear tearing into your transmission, that's deserving of direct payment.

maybe it's because i came from a blue collar family, but i feel much more like i should pay/recompense someone for physical labor than white collar work. i feel fine just picking up the tab next time we have dinner if my accountant friend helps me, but if my father in law helps with our landscaping, i definitely feel like i should pay him something. if my father were a mechanic, i don't think i'd expect him to work on my car for free unless it was something trivial (can be done in <10 minutes in casual clothes) or just showing me how to do something.

Give & take...if you're the only one taking in this relationship, it could certainly have a bearing on why you're being charged.

Gratitude is an attitude. Kudos to OP's father for attempting to teach his children that we are owed nothing in this world. Too many parents (these days) swoop in and 'save the day' or loan money knowing they will forgive the loan. This kind of parenting teaches nothing more than a lack of responsibility, which perpetuates entitlement. Too many parents want to be their child(ren)'s friend rather than than a role model, teacher & disciplinararian.

I live next door to my parents and often ask them to help me with things around my house. The difference between the OP & me is that I say "Can I please hire you to do xyz?" More often than not they refuse cash payment. So I will give them a gift card to a restaurant they enjoy or their favorite beer or something else that I know they would enjoy. I also think about them at times when I don't need a 'favor'. If I'm baking something for my family or cooking a meal that I know they'd enjoy I make extra and deliver it (across the yard ) to them. If I come across something in the store that I know they use and it's a pretty good deal, I pick it yo for them...just because. The point that I'm trying to make is that it is far more important to be mindful of what you bring to the relationship versus what you get from the other person(s).

The statement 'this is how your father makes a living' resonates with me. Perhaps he is taking on side jobs and by taking on your vehicle repair he might be losing out on a non familial paying customer.

OP, if your dad did the work for you pro bono, how would you show your gratitude?

Gratitude is an attitude. Kudos to OP's father for attempting to teach his children that we are owed nothing in this world. Too many parents (these days) swoop in and 'save the day' or loan money knowing they will forgive the loan. This kind of parenting teaches nothing more than a lack of responsibility, which perpetuates entitlement. Too many parents want to be their child(ren)'s friend rather than than a role model, teacher & disciplinararian.

I live next door to my parents and often ask them to help me with things around my house. The difference between the OP & me is that I say "Can I please hire you to do xyz?" More often than not they refuse cash payment. So I will give them a gift card to a restaurant they enjoy or their favorite beer or something else that I know they would enjoy. I also think about them at times when I don't need a 'favor'. If I'm baking something for my family or cooking a meal that I know they'd enjoy I make extra and deliver it (across the yard ) to them. If I come across something in the store that I know they use and it's a pretty good deal, I pick it yo for them...just because. The point that I'm trying to make is that it is far more important to be mindful of what you bring to the relationship versus what you get from the other person(s).

The statement 'this is how your father makes a living' resonates with me. Perhaps he is taking on side jobs and by taking on your vehicle repair he might be losing out on a non familial paying customer.

OP, if your dad did the work for you pro bono, how would you show your gratitude?

You are a very good daughter to your parents You show you care, and aren't afraid to show it in what you do for them

Now the last part bolded, OP will wait until her father is old and frail, and claims she will take care of him. But as BQ has stated, what if he dies of a massive heart attack tomorrow; and has been doing the work pro bono and she has offered him nothing in return Just an ungrateful B-R-A-T for a daughter, who feels "entitled". She gets a discounted "rate", and still feels this is unjustified, sigh Knowing full well, it is labor intensive work as well; not sitting at a desk, but hard, bone crunching work. Has she ever looked at her father's hands after a day's work I see my hubby's hands, I know how his back feels, and his feet, etc. After over 38+ years in this business, it takes a beating on your body; does she not know this

Picca, my mom is a member of SD...I am waiting for her to come on and say something smart ass about me being a good daughter. We are not all perfect...but when you know better you do better and I am all about knowing and doing better. I am glad my parents taught me to know better.

I started babysitting as soon as I could & got a job at 13...not so I could have spending $ but so I could help pay a portion of my high school tuition, which at the time was not my decision (in hindsight, it was the BEST decision my parents made for me and I am very grateful for the experience). When I went off to college (which I paid for by myself) and came home for summers I paid rent. Did I like it at the time? No. Did I pay it? Yes. Did I question their right to charge me rent? No. Let me reiterate how grateful I am that my parents taught me to work hard and contribute financially to my future. I had some skin in it and it taught me to value it all the more.

Now I need to make a batch of cookies as my parents surprised me yesterday by putting in tree spikes for me. They are the ones that are awesome. I am merely trying to show my gratitude.

Oh and I guess I am a crappy parent because my husband and I are making our 17 yo daughter pay for a portion of her tuition at my alma mater.

How are your neighbor's doing Scampster's - mine are still biaotchy Are your's

It's her posts DIRECTLY that many have formed an opinion about, not based on what other people are saying.

From what I've seen over there, though, a lot of what they said was pretty dead on. If you don't believe it scampsters, feel free to look up OP's other posts everywhere and see for yourself.

The wife was coming back from Chemo the other day told me how we are the nicest neighbors they had in 35 years living there. That others were stuck up and snooty so i guess something im doing is working.

la·bor (lbr)
n.
1.
a. Physical or mental exertion, especially when difficult or exhausting; work. See Synonyms at work.
b. Something produced by work.
2. A specific task.
3. A particular form of work or method of working: manual labor.
4. Work for wages.
5.
a. Workers considered as a group.
b. The trade union movement, especially its officials.
6. Labor A political party representing workers' interests, especially in Great Britain.
7. The process by which childbirth occurs, beginning with contractions of the uterus and ending with the expulsion of the fetus or infant and the placenta.

The neighbor's wife is having Chemo done or your wife, confused on that point.
Though if the neighbor's think you living there, are the nicest they have had now,
that is GREAT NEWS Something must have stuck with whatever you have
done. Nothing I tried worked, including sending the bioatch "flowers" - I got a thank
you note written on a tiny scrap of paper, left under my windshield wiper blade
Not proper at all when someone sends you flowers, to tell you how nice your
house now looks after all the work that was done to it (it looked like a druggie house prior to this).

His wife has uterine cancer diagnosed in Jan.

Looking for opinions:

If you have a specific skill or trade do you feel it's okay with charging immediate family members for your labor/time. For example, if you are a mechanic, would you charge your son or daughter, father or mother for your labor? Or do you feel like since they're your family (and let's of course say for arguments sake that everyone likes each other and has a good relationship of course ) you should give your help where you're able to and leave it up to the person on the receiving end to give if they should feel inclined?