Joined Dec 2014
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Forum Thread
How to Host an Inexpensive Wedding
April 6, 2016 at
06:49 AM
in
Wedding & Bridal
(3)
So I recently got engaged, and holy shit was I surprised when I found out how much the average wedding in the U.S. costs (about 30k for those unaware). Being a slickdealer I was immediately suspicious at what appears to be an outrageous cost, for basically throwing a large party. Like anything else in life, I know that there are ways to save money when hosting such an event, but I'm having a really hard time figuring out how. I have tried posting in specific wedding forums, but have been met with tons of negativity, and claims that it can't be done, from people who's opinions seem very suspect to me.
Maybe I'm just being an arrogant misinformed dick, but I find it very hard to believe that a wedding HAS to cost this much money. I feel like the slickdeals community can resolve this question for me once and for all, so here it is:
Were you able to have a relatively inexpensive wedding? Estimate what your cost was per guest? How did you save money? What were the sacrifices/compromises that you made?
Personally, I have a pretty specific idea of what I want at my wedding. If you have any saving ideas that apply to my plans specifically please let me know.
What I envision:
Outside wedding in a beautiful field under a tent in New England early September with about 150-200 guests (no church/priest, so saving money there). I want to host my guests appropriately so I want an open bar and a fully catered wedding with music. I feel like location/space, food, booze, music, and bathrooms are all you need to host a fun filled wedding, so why does it cost so much?
What I think I need:
1. Venue, large field, requires lots of parking, access to electricity, bathrooms (or option of port-a-potties). How do I get this cheap?
2. Booze, seems pretty self explanatory, buy it yourself and you'll save way more money than if you purchase through a middle man.
3. Food, I believe you can get pretty good catering for about 25 bucks a person. What did you guys pay? Does it make a difference in price that it is being held outdoors?
4. Bathrooms, hopefully on site, but if not renting port-a-potties. Any specific way to get nicer ones on the cheap?
5. Music, probably rent a sound system and make my own playlist. Are there businesses that offer this type of thing at a lower price bracket?
6. Tent, this own is expensive, I can't seem to find large tent rentals that seem like they are fairly priced. It is a very unique item, so maybe this is something I will have to pay for.
7. Various rentals, tables, chairs, linens, dinnerware, wineglasses, dance floor, stage.
Thanks for the help
-Ben
Maybe I'm just being an arrogant misinformed dick, but I find it very hard to believe that a wedding HAS to cost this much money. I feel like the slickdeals community can resolve this question for me once and for all, so here it is:
Were you able to have a relatively inexpensive wedding? Estimate what your cost was per guest? How did you save money? What were the sacrifices/compromises that you made?
Personally, I have a pretty specific idea of what I want at my wedding. If you have any saving ideas that apply to my plans specifically please let me know.
What I envision:
Outside wedding in a beautiful field under a tent in New England early September with about 150-200 guests (no church/priest, so saving money there). I want to host my guests appropriately so I want an open bar and a fully catered wedding with music. I feel like location/space, food, booze, music, and bathrooms are all you need to host a fun filled wedding, so why does it cost so much?
What I think I need:
1. Venue, large field, requires lots of parking, access to electricity, bathrooms (or option of port-a-potties). How do I get this cheap?
2. Booze, seems pretty self explanatory, buy it yourself and you'll save way more money than if you purchase through a middle man.
3. Food, I believe you can get pretty good catering for about 25 bucks a person. What did you guys pay? Does it make a difference in price that it is being held outdoors?
4. Bathrooms, hopefully on site, but if not renting port-a-potties. Any specific way to get nicer ones on the cheap?
5. Music, probably rent a sound system and make my own playlist. Are there businesses that offer this type of thing at a lower price bracket?
6. Tent, this own is expensive, I can't seem to find large tent rentals that seem like they are fairly priced. It is a very unique item, so maybe this is something I will have to pay for.
7. Various rentals, tables, chairs, linens, dinnerware, wineglasses, dance floor, stage.
Thanks for the help
-Ben
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Also church/priest barely costs any $$ like $100.... saving yes but not like it's 30% of the cost.
There are probably tons of sites to look at in the google but I'd generally say:
- do as much of it yourself as possible - order your own invites, do calligraphy yourself if you want
- see if you have friends/friends that do stuff on the side. For us, the FIL knew a few people at work that did flowers and photos - this saved tons of $$
- lower expectations. I think this is the biggest issue - many people (esp women) have some grandiose idea of what a wedding should be based on years of (frankly) indoctrination. So even if you don't intend to spend a lot, the incessant nickel and diming on everything to get "perfect" adds up in the end.
You can decorate them, can't you?
My fiancé seems to be very torn to tell you the truth. I don't think she's very good at organizing all of the factors in her head at once and weighing the options. She seems to change her mind every time that she talks to a different person, taking only their point of view into consideration without considering her prior knowledge/ideas. I think she is very overwhelmed by the whole thing.
It looks like she is leaning towards a full service venue, which I'm fine with, but it will end up costing a lot of extra money. If I can find a way to save and have the wedding that I want that is obviously the optimal choice. I'm fine with the stress of planning and organizing, I actually thrive on it lol, but if it's too much for her we've got to go a different direction.
Although some of your advice doesn't apply to me, keep it coming. I do want this thread to be a discussion of how to throw an inexpensive wedding, that can be helpful to other people, not just myself. I feel like there's not enough good resources out there for finding this sort of information, so anything I can learn will be helpful. It will probably also change the direction that I ultimately choose to take.
Maybe I'm just being an arrogant misinformed dick, but I find it very hard to believe that a wedding HAS to cost this much money. I feel like the slickdeals community can resolve this question for me once and for all, so here it is:
Were you able to have a relatively inexpensive wedding? Estimate what your cost was per guest? How did you save money? What were the sacrifices/compromises that you made?
Personally, I have a pretty specific idea of what I want at my wedding. If you have any saving ideas that apply to my plans specifically please let me know.
What I envision:
Outside wedding in a beautiful field under a tent in New England early September with about 150-200 guests (no church/priest, so saving money there). I want to host my guests appropriately so I want an open bar and a fully catered wedding with music. I feel like location/space, food, booze, music, and bathrooms are all you need to host a fun filled wedding, so why does it cost so much?
What I think I need:
1. Venue, large field, requires lots of parking, access to electricity, bathrooms (or option of port-a-potties). How do I get this cheap?
2. Booze, seems pretty self explanatory, buy it yourself and you'll save way more money than if you purchase through a middle man.
3. Food, I believe you can get pretty good catering for about 25 bucks a person. What did you guys pay? Does it make a difference in price that it is being held outdoors?
4. Bathrooms, hopefully on site, but if not renting port-a-potties. Any specific way to get nicer ones on the cheap?
5. Music, probably rent a sound system and make my own playlist. Are there businesses that offer this type of thing at a lower price bracket?
6. Tent, this own is expensive, I can't seem to find large tent rentals that seem like they are fairly priced. It is a very unique item, so maybe this is something I will have to pay for.
7. Various rentals, tables, chairs, linens, dinnerware, wineglasses, dance floor, stage.
Thanks for the help
-Ben
Getting married in a church isn't really expensive if you belong to the church. I think it cost me like $200ish..and that was to pay for the paster and for someone to sing. Church use was free. Granted that was back in 2001, but I can't imagine that the price has increased as dramatically as other wedding services.
If you want to save money, have it on a Friday or a Sunday. Most places will have a cheaper rates on those days.
You don't have a photographer on your list. A decent one will cost a good amount of money.
I once looked into getting married on a farm that is all decked out for weddings and it seemed like it was going to be more expense then just renting a hall and having chicken for dinner.
Just looking at the price for renting a farm nearby my work and it's $4,200 for a Saturday in 2017 (it includes no food or beverage)
Looking at a near by place that does receptions and banquets and it's $1200 to rent and then $800 of that is used towards the food. If renting on a Saturday they require you to spend $4200 on food. It's $16.95 for broasted chicken up to $18.50 for broasted chicken, broiled haddock, and tenderloin tips per person - served family style.
Could you rent a park that has a pavilion? Do you know someone who owns land? Maybe you could put could put an ad on craigslist for looking to rent a field?
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FTR I got married 3 years ago, planned everything myself, made everything myself. We had 100 people ( wanted 50 but changed our minds ) We also paid for the entire thing ourselves. I went back and forth with ideas. I also toyed around with the whole outside wedding, our own booze, etc etc ( and yes even porta potties hahaha ). In the end it wasn't much more to have a venue catered event. I was able to cut costs by making a lot of the centerpieces and things myself. I meant to craigslist a lot of it and recoup some costs, but its still in my closet.
I was going to reply more later, but mmathis pretty much already said everything I would have. Without cutting the guest list, cutting the types of food, and the booze it's still going to cost an arm and a leg. You don't need to spend 30k, but with 150-200 it just may end up that way. And if you aren't paying for it, sit back and let your bride enjoy the planning and leave her alone.
6 and 7. Rentals can be a very large part of your budget (maybe 3rd biggest item). Some venues will provide some or all of these items, so keep that in mind when looking around. Seriously consider buying and reselling afterwards. My wife and I wound up buying linens for about the same price we could rent them and sold them all afterwards on CL. We didn't recoup our entire purchase price, but we did come out ahead compared to renting them. It did take over a year to get them all sold, though, which was a big PITA.
http://mojosbbqgrill.c
BBQ, burgers to ribs for 15-35/person depending on what you are looking for
http://www.washingtons
Another BBQ type offering, 25/person for a full meal including kebobs and Mediterranean food.
I love the idea of buying items and selling them afterwards. I just checked CL for pricing and availability, and it seems very feasible. Although I love this idea, and would definitely be willing to put in the work to make it happen, my fiancé would not enjoy going this direction.
Also church/priest barely costs any $$ like $100.... saving yes but not like it's 30% of the cost.
There are probably tons of sites to look at in the google but I'd generally say:
- do as much of it yourself as possible - order your own invites, do calligraphy yourself if you want
- see if you have friends/friends that do stuff on the side. For us, the FIL knew a few people at work that did flowers and photos - this saved tons of $$
- lower expectations. I think this is the biggest issue - many people (esp women) have some grandiose idea of what a wedding should be based on years of (frankly) indoctrination. So even if you don't intend to spend a lot, the incessant nickel and diming on everything to get "perfect" adds up in the end.
Sometimes what gets you is not the big costs, but all of the little ones. Emailing save the dates instead of postal mail will save you $100 in postage (not to mention the cost of the cards themselves). Having people email / call RSVPs for the invites instead of including a SASE is another $100 (plus the cost of cards again).
Another way to save money, though risky, is to find people who are looking to break in to the industry. Photographers, videographers, DJs, caterers, anyone looking to start doing weddings is going to be offering steep discounts or work pro-bono in order to build their portfolio. The downside is you have little to go on on the quality of their work, reliability, etc.
As with most things, the more you do yourself, the cheaper it will be - but the longer it will take. If you've got the time and patience (and enjoy it!), it's a great way to save money.
FTR I got married 3 years ago, planned everything myself, made everything myself. We had 100 people ( wanted 50 but changed our minds ) We also paid for the entire thing ourselves. I went back and forth with ideas. I also toyed around with the whole outside wedding, our own booze, etc etc ( and yes even porta potties hahaha ). In the end it wasn't much more to have a venue catered event. I was able to cut costs by making a lot of the centerpieces and things myself. I meant to craigslist a lot of it and recoup some costs, but its still in my closet.
I was going to reply more later, but mmathis pretty much already said everything I would have. Without cutting the guest list, cutting the types of food, and the booze it's still going to cost an arm and a leg. You don't need to spend 30k, but with 150-200 it just may end up that way. And if you aren't paying for it, sit back and let your bride enjoy the planning and leave her alone.
Food = 45/person (includes appetizers)
Booze = 20/person
DJ = 1000
Photographer (I forgot) = 2500
Dress = 1500
Venue with Tent/covering = 1250 http://www.nhstatepark
Tables, Linens, Flatware = 15/person (I really have no idea on this one)
Services, bartender, waiters etc. = 2000 (Again I really have no idea
Toilet Trailer = 2000 (idk yet again)
Flowers = 1000 (go cheap on these
For 200 this comes out to about 27k, for an above average sized wedding. I guess this is starting to approach 30k, but I feel like I could still find ways to save on most of these things. I'm thinking 25k is doable for 200 people. Am I crazy? What are the additional costs that I'm neglecting.
Also church/priest barely costs any $$ like $100.... saving yes but not like it's 30% of the cost.
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if your bride doesn't respond well to stress and won't deal well with having to make hard decisions (or not getting the wedding she's planned because of you having to make those decisions) on that day, an outdoor wedding is not for her, period. the biggest/most expensive wedding i've attended (~$50K) was outdoors, and it poured. the bride bawled for twenty minutes, and while it ended up being a pretty good time, about half the people were soaked before they left.
outdoor weddings don't usually cost significantly less unless you can get the land for free and go cheap on the food. a good percentage of wedding venues have in-house kitchens and/or agreements with specific caterers that will save you a good chunk over "retail", tables/chairs/settings that will be less than going through a third party, waitstaff that will likely come with the venue rental fee, etc. and, as you have found, there are a bunch of extra costs like electricity/lighting, restrooms, and shelter.
music/MC is a good place to save some money as long as you have a friend who knows what they're doing. in fact, the best MC jobs i've seen were by family friends who knew all the inside jokes and stories of the families/couple. again, any decent venue is going to have a sound system and a microphone, but if you have a remote/outdoor wedding, you'll have to find a PA system or hire someone with one. you'll also need to set up a stable dance floor since even the best turf becomes dirt after an hour of dancing and heels sink in soil.
i've yet to hear of a couple who was able to sell a significant portion of their post-wedding stuff on CL or elsewhere. i think most couples are so specific in what they want that it's hard to match up buyers/sellers, and i'm sure there's some hesitance to buy used stuff for arguably the most important celebration of a person's life.
you two need to decide what you're going to give up for real savings. you can shave a couple hundred bucks off here and there with most of this, but the reality is in order to save real money, you have go give up something like an open bar, a full meal, a weekend timeframe, a nicer venue, or such a large guest list.
for the record, when i got married, we split up the ceremony and the reception. the ceremony was at a gorgeous venue near here, but we only invited family and very close friends (less than 40 people total) and kept it simple, so we only needed the place for an hour and a half (we did prep at family's houses). we then had our reception after the honeymoon, so we were able to book it as a big party with 200+ people that cost less than $5,000, including a great dinner. a fellow photographer friend (who usually charges $2,000+) did it for $500 with digital delivery, and other friends did the MC and music for free. that was back in 2007, but i think we got out for less than $12K (including dresses, flowers, videographer, and decoration, but not the ring or honeymoon), partially because we were both pragmatists who like nice things, but don't go overboard.