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Fark My Life

26,668 2,340 February 12, 2009 at 05:35 AM in Humor (2)
http://www.fmylife.com/
Quote :
Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired.
Quote :
Today, I accidentally kicked a child down a set of steps. I work in a kids play area.
Quote :
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He responded with "Who the hell are you?"
Quote :
Today, I cut myself of a bandaid box, while trying to get a bandaid out for another cut.
Crylol Roll Rofl2 LMAO laugh out loud
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Joined Apr 2006
World dominator and rebel
> bubble2 41,453 Posts
4,437 Reputation
SDRebel
04-29-2009 at 06:43 PM.
04-29-2009 at 06:43 PM.
Quote :
Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin Donut's coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double D's you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the Coffee. FML

laugh out loud
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Joined Dec 2006
L6: Expert
> bubble2 1,903 Posts
280 Reputation
Billiam411
04-30-2009 at 11:02 AM.
04-30-2009 at 11:02 AM.
Quote :
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house.I've been a vegetarian for 4 years, and his mother made lasagna with meat in it. After telling her I don't eat meat, my boyfriend's father proceeds to say "we know who's meat she does eat." My boyfriend, his mother, and I were standing right there. FML
laugh out loud
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Joined Jun 2006
Jambi-rific in Seattle!
> bubble2 31,436 Posts
2,810 Reputation
Zoe Moon
04-30-2009 at 11:24 AM.
04-30-2009 at 11:24 AM.
Looks like Iconian has been posting on FML.

Quote :
Today, I realized the senior thesis I turned in last week uses the word "asses" instead of "assess" 17 times. FML

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Joined May 2006
Suspected porn star
> bubble2 11,996 Posts
1,332 Reputation
ForeverDecember
04-30-2009 at 11:43 AM.
04-30-2009 at 11:43 AM.
Roll What fun. Wish this wasn't blocked.
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Joined Apr 2006
World dominator and rebel
> bubble2 41,453 Posts
4,437 Reputation
SDRebel
05-06-2009 at 09:19 AM.
05-06-2009 at 09:19 AM.
Quote from ForeverDcember :
Roll What fun. Wish this wasn't blocked.
FML is fracking addicting....
you can't access it with your cellphone? SERO FTW! Rock
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Joined May 2006
Suspected porn star
> bubble2 11,996 Posts
1,332 Reputation
ForeverDecember
05-06-2009 at 10:01 AM.
05-06-2009 at 10:01 AM.
Quote from SDRebel :
FML is fracking addicting....
you can't access it with your cellphone? SERO FTW! Rock
Nope, I just have a regular ol' samsung.
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Joined Nov 2003
Double Staff Oreos
> bubble2 26,891 Posts
2,390 Reputation
Global Mod
rayzac | Staff
05-06-2009 at 12:39 PM.
05-06-2009 at 12:39 PM.
Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML
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Joined Feb 2006
R U an ultracrepidarian?
> bubble2 74,140 Posts
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Sr. Deal Editor
iconian | Staff
05-06-2009 at 12:40 PM.
05-06-2009 at 12:40 PM.
Quote from rayzac :
Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML
$20 says she will become very popular Smilie
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Joined Apr 2006
World dominator and rebel
> bubble2 41,453 Posts
4,437 Reputation
SDRebel
05-06-2009 at 02:04 PM.
05-06-2009 at 02:04 PM.
Quote from ForeverDcember :
Nope, I just have a regular ol' samsung.
be a woman and buy a handset with real internet access nod
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Joined Jun 2005
L6: Laser Lotus
> bubble2 21,654 Posts
1,405 Reputation
shhaggy
05-06-2009 at 02:07 PM.
05-06-2009 at 02:07 PM.
Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She proceeded to say, "I wanna break your collar bone." in a seductive tone. FML
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Joined Feb 2008
yay christmas
> bubble2 1,289 Posts
238 Reputation
miscpersonface
05-06-2009 at 03:51 PM.
05-06-2009 at 03:51 PM.
Today, I used my fiance's phone to order pizza. An I love you text popped up. It wasn't from me. FML
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Joined Sep 2006
IVIodel citizen
> bubble2 19,431 Posts
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Fallacy
05-07-2009 at 07:45 AM.
05-07-2009 at 07:45 AM.
Quote :
Today, I stopped at a red light. I noticed the car in front of me had the reverse lights on. I thought to myself "Meh, that person must know. They wouldn't do that." The light turned green. Turns out they didn't. Nor did they have insurance. FML
Wasn't there a thread on SDs about this? Confused Confused Confused
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Joined Jun 2004
L10: Grand Master
> bubble2 27,801 Posts
541 Reputation
Pig
05-07-2009 at 10:10 AM.
05-07-2009 at 10:10 AM.
Quote from gossipgirlxoxo :
Today, I used my fiance's phone to order pizza. An I love you text popped up. It wasn't from me. FML
See! You would have been better off making a sandwich!
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Joined Feb 2008
yay christmas
> bubble2 1,289 Posts
238 Reputation
miscpersonface
05-07-2009 at 10:11 AM.
05-07-2009 at 10:11 AM.
Quote from Pig :
See! You would have been better off making a sandwich!
I know, right? Luckily I have discovered the text was from his moms # nod
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Joined Dec 2005
My # is bigger than yours
> bubble2 37,147 Posts
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SnakePlisken
05-07-2009 at 10:14 AM.
05-07-2009 at 10:14 AM.
Quote from Pig :
See! You would have been better off making a sandwich!
should have replied back, I love you too, dipped in batter & deep fried.
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