Joined Aug 2003
Berserker xXx
Forum Thread
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
December 2, 2003 at
04:14 PM
Recently I've noticed that the lounge was kinda dying off, and some people's temper has gone mad. I think that we should tell some funny stories or jokes, could be a joke or story from you or someone you know or heard. Sometimes, reading funny things, stories, jokes can really brighten up someone's day. and also really fun to look at. 
System Notice: This thread has been automatically renewed after reaching a post limit. Most of its content has been moved to this thread for reference purposes.
System Notice: This thread has been automatically renewed after reaching a post limit. Most of its content has been moved to this thread for reference purposes.
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Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a night of passionate lovemaking she asks him, "What is your name?"
"I can't tell you!" the black man says.
Every night they meet and every night she asks him again what his name is and he always responds the same, he cannot tell her. On her last night there she asks
again, "Can you please tell me your name?"
"I can't because you will make fun of me!" the black man says.
"There is no reason for me to laugh at you," the lady says.
"Fine, my name is Snow" the black man replies.
And the lady bursts into laughter, and the black man gets mad and says, "I knew you would make fun of it."
The lady replied, "It's my husband that won't believe me when I tell him that I had 10 inches of Snow every day in the Caribbean!"
where he is studying. She finds out that her son lives with Sarah, a
girl roommate. Mrs. Rabinowitz couldn't help but notice how pretty
David's roommate was. She suspects a relationship between the two,
and this had only made her more curious. Reading his Mum's thoughts,
David volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you,
Sarah and I are just roommates." About a week later, Sarah came to David
saying, "Ever since your mother left, I've been unable to find the
silver sugarbowl. You don't suppose she took it
do you?" Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." So he
sat down and wrote:
"Dear Mom, I'm not saying that you "did" take the sugar bowl from
my house, and I'm not saying that you "did not" take it. But the
fact remains that it has been missing ever since you left. Love,
David.
Several days later, David received an email from his Mom which read:
Dear Son, I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Sarah, and I'm
not saying that you "do not" sleep with her. But the fact remains
that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the
sugar bowl by now.
Love, Mom.
The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required to reach The bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind."
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand our wives; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
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The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This kind of
sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.
The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. This is when
you have been with your partner for a short time and you are
so horny you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.
The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. This is when
you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex
has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your
bedroom.
The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex. This is when
you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "screw you."
The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex, which means
you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at
night.
The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex. This is when you
cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone
And last, but not least, the 7th kind of sex is called:
Social Security Sex. You get a little each month. But not
enough to live on.
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