Joined Aug 2003
Berserker xXx
Forum Thread
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
December 2, 2003 at
04:14 PM
Recently I've noticed that the lounge was kinda dying off, and some people's temper has gone mad. I think that we should tell some funny stories or jokes, could be a joke or story from you or someone you know or heard. Sometimes, reading funny things, stories, jokes can really brighten up someone's day. and also really fun to look at. 
System Notice: This thread has been automatically renewed after reaching a post limit. Most of its content has been moved to this thread for reference purposes.
System Notice: This thread has been automatically renewed after reaching a post limit. Most of its content has been moved to this thread for reference purposes.
1,240 Comments
Your comment cannot be blank.
Sign up for a Slickdeals account to remove this ad.
She is half discovered, half wild.
Between the ages of 20 - 30 a woman is like America.
Fully discovered and scientifically perfect.
Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India & Japan.
Very hot, wise and beautiful
Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France.
She is half destroyed after the war but still desirable.
Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Germany.
She lost the war but not the hope.
Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia.
Very wide, very quiet but nobody goes there.
Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England.
With a glorious past but no future.
After 70, they become Siberia.
"Everyone knows where is it, but no one wants to go there."
The next day a cattle truck comes driving down the dirt road to the farm and the back ramp comes down, then this HUGE bull comes stomping out and sees the cattle through the fence and starts snorting, stomping and pacing back and forth in the yard.
Then the first bull comes out and he says well I think that I've had a change in heart and I'm just going to share with this guy, the second bull comes over and says, yeah you're right I've had a change in heart too.
Finally the third bull comes running out, snorting, huffing, and pacing back in forth, the first two bulls say what are you doing? You can't take him on, he's humongous! I know, says the third bull, but I just want to make sure he knows I'm a bull.
spotted an attractive man, standing alone.
She approached him.
'My name is Carmen,' she told him. 'That's a beautiful
name,' he replied, 'Is it a family name?'
'No,' she replied.
'I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most -- cars and
men.'
'What's your name?' she asked.
He said, 'B. J. Titsenbeer
Sign up for a Slickdeals account to remove this ad.
Man who leap off hill jump to conclusion.
You want pretty nurse, you be patient.
Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting pants on .
Better be pissed off than be pissed on.
Woman who go to man's house for snack, get tit bit.
Woman who go camping beware of evil in tent.
Woman who sit on judge's lap get honorable discharge.
It take many nail to build crib but one screw to fill it.
Man who leap off hill jump to conclusion.
You want pretty nurse, you be patient.
Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting pants on .
Better be pissed off than be pissed on.
Woman who go to man's house for snack, get tit bit.
Woman who go camping beware of evil in tent.
Woman who sit on judge's lap get honorable discharge.
It take many nail to build crib but one screw to fill it.
He he but you forgot-
Confucious say man who walk through airport turnstile sideways is going to bangkok
Confucious say man who walk through airport turnstile sideways is going to bangkok
-who's there?
Cowgo
-cowgo who?
NO, cow go MOO!
12. CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
11. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
10. I went to buy a toaster oven and they gave me a bank.
9. Hotwheels and Matchbox car companies are now trading higher than GM in the stock market.
8. Obama met with small businesses - GE, Pfizer, Chrysler, Citigroup and GM, to discuss the Stimulus Package.
7. McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
6. People in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and are learning their children's names.
5. The most highly-paid job is now jury duty.
4. People in Africa are donating money to Americans. Mothers in Ethiopia are telling their kids, "finish your plate; do you know how many kids are starving in America ?"
3. Motel Six won't leave the lights on.
2. The Mafia is laying off judges.
1. If the bank returns your check marked as "insufficient funds,"you have to call them and ask if they meant you or them.
The woman poked the man with her knitting needle, and the man screamed, "GOD!"
The Priest looked at him and said, "That's right."
Then he asked "Who is God's son?"
Once more the woman poked her husband with the needle, he woke up and screamed, "Jesus Christ!"
Again, the priest said, "Correct."
Finally, the priest asked, "What did Eve say to Adam
when she didn't want any more children?"
The knitter poked her husband again,
but this time he got up and screamed:
"Poke me with that thing one more time and I'm going to rip it off!"
The priest smiled and said, "That's right."
Sign up for a Slickdeals account to remove this ad.