Ok so I'll ask....is there anything wrong with me dating a married woman?

Thank you for admitting it!


And no, I haven't known any person that has fooled around with someone that is married.

You may not be able to control who you fall for, but you CAN control what you do about it. Just because you fall for someone doesn't mean you need act on it and screw around with them.

Being young, being in college, falling for someone, those are cop-outs, and lame excuses. You know it's wrong, you admitted it.

But you and OP still did it anyway. You were the "other" guy. There's no other way to spin that. And of course you don't frown upon him, you are him!

IMO, I think it makes you more of a dirtbag that you know it's wrong, but you do it anyway. OP clearly knows it, too.

And we're not just blaming the other guy - we're blaming the woman, too. They're both at fault here.

Still no one can tell me how and why I am wrong other than emotional reactions. I am giving her what she needs and wants. What is wrong with that? She isn't getting it from home so why should she have to live without good things in her life?

WTF are you talking about? Sleeping with someone who is married, and the other spouse does not know and approve is wrong.

You seriously don't get that?

Never said that she isn't doing something wrong did I? But me? It's a good relationship and we are good to each other. A lot of people would kill to have what we have.

If you end up running over someone in a car, would we have to explain to you why vehicular homicide is wrong, too?

Different scenario. I'm not helping someone or making them feel good or valued by running over them.


Because she's being dishonest to her husband, and you're doing it with her. You're withholding information the husband SHOULD have, and you're interfering in a marriage (and regardless of the status of the marriage, you have no right to do so).

I'm not interfering because I didn't make their marriage what it is or isn't. It's also not my place or responsibility to tell her husband anything.

You have no idea if you're legitimately making her happy. You ARE hurting someone - her husband. I know you're young and single, so it's probably hard for you to understand, but when you're married, you usually don't want your spouse screwing other people!

I can see in her that I am making her happy. Come on it's not that hard to tell.


She does - she just needs to be honest. She probably hasn't even told her husband she's unhappy in the marriage.

She has told her husband she is unhappy and has suggested counseling before but he refuses to go.

This is what cheaters do - they're cowards. Instead of confronting their spouse, try to work something out, they go outside of the marriage and fool around. Leaving everything unresolved, and EVERYBODY gets hurt. Her included. It's a bad situation all around, and it'll end badly. It always does.

Sure it will end at some point. I don't kid myself there but it doesn't have to end with her husband being involved at that point.

I seriously cannot believe there are people out there as delusional as you are. Talk about knee-jerk emotional reactions, you're trying to justify it because you like her.

Um...HULLO?

Do I have to retype all of that? Most of my reasons weren't emotional and of course you're hurting someone. Her husband will be hurt and if you think he won't ever find out, I think you're mistaken. Whether he finds out now, or she tells him later to intentionally hurt him in court, or down the road when they have a fight, he will find out.


You're going to do what you're going to do, but why does it have to be that particular one? Can't you find anyone else who is hot and willing and not married?

Having sex with a chick who is mostly likely sleeping with other guys is disturbing. Find a less occupied hole.

Likely the issue here is not an issue with other single girls, but that you can only get some from a girl who is desperate and emotionally vulnerable. Sad to be you. Not much of a score.

1. There are tons of hot women who are not married, so there isn't a need to date women whose husbands do not know they are screwing around. It's selfish. He has the right to know with whom he is sleeping, by default.

Sure there are tons that aren't married. And I'm not attracted to them just because they aren't married. It's also not my fault or responsibility that her husband doesn't know.

2. Just because she tells you they are estranged does not make it so.

True but I think she is telling me the truth there.

3. If she's sleeping with you, she could easily be sleeping with other people, including her husband. You could bring home something vicious. Gross.

She isn't sleeping with anyone else including her husband. She isn't attracted to him physically because he has gained a lot of weight and doesn't take care of himself. Plus the kind of guy he is.

4. If they're so estranged, why can't she just tell him she's sleeping with you?

There are legitimate factors involved why she doesn't just divorce him. Given that it is not in her interest to tell him.

5. You're asking for your wife (when/if you get one) to sleep around on you.

No I'm not.

6. When she gets pregnant and you get hauled into court, will there be anything wrong with that?

Not an issue. She can't have children. They have not adopted kids either.

7. If he sues you for alienation of affection, will there be anything wrong with that?

That isn't a concern because courts don't allow that claim anymore. (from what I understand because a buddy brought it up before)

That basically sums it up...

I think everyone in here is missing the point

What's that? Satan got laid?

I don't understand why the OP or anyone would date a woman who is cheating on her husband. She obviously isn't marriage material since she is okay with cheating. And if you end up together she won't have a problem cheating on you and since you already approve of the behavior she won't even have to feel guilty about it. If you are okay living with someone the rest of your life wondering if they are cheating on you then you are a little strange at best.

Now if you just said you were looking to get a little and weren't interested in a relationship with her then at least you could rationalize it off as being part of your selfish adolescent mentality.

If you don't feel like you're doing anything wrong, why do you hide your relationship by going to restaurants and other places that are not well known with the intention of avoiding anyone who might tell her husband? That's not how a normal single person, who feels comfortable with their relationship choices, behaves.

Also, if she isn't "getting it from home," why doesn't she leave? She's playing you both and you're allowing it.

Yeah, so does he.

There are degrees of trust. I think she is being honest in that point.

See where we started...with the trust issue. You've already admitted that she can't be trusted. Then you say she can. Who are you trying to convince? Yourself, or us? We don't care if you trust her or not. You're the one who wanted opinions. In my opinion (and in your own...above), a woman who is cheating on her husband and sleeping around can't be trusted...so...there you have it.

There are degrees of trust and ways I have of knowing if she is sleeping with another guy than me. (or her husband) Like I said I am not marrying her and she is not expecting that. It's not what our relationship is about or for.


If you say so. Sounds like another trust thing to me, but...you know the situation. I don't.

Trust me.


Karmically, I mean.

Lucky for me my name is not Earl.

Again, you've admitted that she can't be trusted. So, maybe she can...and maybe she can't.

I won't go into her health issues or problems she has had but....yeah I know she can't. You're a woman so you should be able to figure that out.

Is that so?

"As of January 2008, the only states in the United States that allow alienation of affection lawsuits are: Hawaii, Illinois, Mississippi, New Mexico, North Carolina, South Dakota, and Utah."


Lucky for me I don't kive in one of those states.

Are you just looking for someone to tell you it's okay? I'm sure you'll find someone here to say that to you.

It won't be me, but I'm sure someone will.

No I thought given all the threads I see here and the subject matter of some of them that it might be a good place to hear what people have to say from across the country that don't have an interest or axe to grind.

I think it's a miserable thing to do to another person, but if she doesn't sleep with you, she'll sleep with someone else. She's obviously going to do it. You're obviously going to do it. So, why are you asking us?

Yes she will sleep with someone else if she can find someone else she is that attracted to. I just still don't see where I am the one doing something wrong here. I am honest with her, I am good to her, I am not taking advantage of anyone or mistreating anyone....you know....how most people are in their relationships.


What's that? Satan got laid?

Like I said before there are legitimate reasons why she doesn't or hasn't divorce her husband.

OP,
I agree with you. It's not that you would be wrong in dating a married woman. You would have some culpability. However, the person who would or should hold more of the blame would be the married person.

But, as seen right here on this thread, ppl tend to attack the mistress or lover. When, in reality, they are the single one. They're not married and didn't take any marriage vows.

I'm not saying what you're doing is wrong as much as I'm saying you should get checked for herpes.

No, you shouldn't sleep with sbuxlover

OP, Do you have a brother, or were you close to your father?

By the way, I didn't say that she had to divorce him. I asked why she can't tell him that she's sleeping with you.

They're not the same thing.