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Ok so I'll ask....is there anything wrong with me dating a married woman?

3,549 129 November 23, 2010 at 03:06 PM in Question
It's not me cheating so is there anything wrong with it? A couple of people have told me it's wrong and made it sound like I am evil but they can't really tell me why with anything other than emotional reactions. So what's up?

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Joined Jul 2004
i inspire travel
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serra | Staff
11-23-2010 at 05:47 PM.
11-23-2010 at 05:47 PM.
send cliff to my desk, please!
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Pig
11-23-2010 at 05:49 PM.
11-23-2010 at 05:49 PM.
Quote from serra :
send cliff to my desk, please!
Ooohh...with Cliff? On the desk??? OMG
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z2g
11-23-2010 at 05:53 PM.
11-23-2010 at 05:53 PM.
Quote from Pig :
I say this with utmost respect to you z2g - that's a dumbass way to look at it....
LOL....it's all good.
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Joined Dec 2004
Never gonna give you up
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burninator
11-23-2010 at 05:54 PM.
11-23-2010 at 05:54 PM.
Quote from coulditbeSatan :
Huh? How did you get to that conclusion?
You're having sexual intercourse with someone with whom you are not monogamous and who has no moral compunction as regards lying her sexual partners about the nature of her sexual activity.

I mean, I grew up in Georgia, but even we learned about this in the 6th grade. Huh
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Magically Delicious
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SlicKitty
11-23-2010 at 05:54 PM.
11-23-2010 at 05:54 PM.
Quote from coulditbeSatan :
Yes I have an older brother and yes my dad and me are close. What does this have to do with anything?
Well, I'm so glad you asked!

How would you feel if someone did this to one of them? If they married, gained some weight, lost some hair, but still loved their wife, who decided she no longer loved them. Perhaps it was your mother. Of course, that's her prerogative. She's welcome to have sex with someone else, but wouldn't she owe them the courtesy of telling your father or your brother that she's doing that? You're not thinking of the husband as a person with rights. You're thinking of him as some useless appendage to the woman that you want it to be okay to boink.


Quote from coulditbeSatan :
True. There would be nothing to gain by her telling her husband other than hurting him and causing a crisis in their marriage. That's not necessary so why do it? Unless she wants to tell him I just don't see it.
See above.

As you said in your original post, the onus of honesty in the marriage lies with her.
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My name is Walter
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marg_fan
11-23-2010 at 05:55 PM.
11-23-2010 at 05:55 PM.
Alright, I'm too lazy to read the entire thread. Has anyone said "It is perfectly fine










as long as she is your wife." yet?


Edit: BE did. (I wasn't as lazy as I thought...)
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Last edited by marg_fan November 23, 2010 at 05:58 PM.
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burninator
11-23-2010 at 05:55 PM.
11-23-2010 at 05:55 PM.
Quote from coulditbeSatan :
True. There would be nothing to gain by her telling her husband other than hurting him and causing a crisis in their marriage. That's not necessary so why do it? Unless she wants to tell him I just don't see it.
There's already a crisis in their marriage. Confused
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serra | Staff
11-23-2010 at 05:56 PM.
11-23-2010 at 05:56 PM.
Quote from Pig :
Ooohh...with Cliff? On the desk??? OMG
is he married? Unsure
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Joined Oct 2004
Professor Fishslapper!
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dalokgawd
11-23-2010 at 05:58 PM.
11-23-2010 at 05:58 PM.
Quote from dalokgawd :
OP you know what I have found is always the best way to figure out if something you're doing is wrong? If the shoe were on the other foot and you were in a marriage that was falling apart, would you care if another dude was banging your wife? If you wouldn't want it to happen to you, then it's wrong for you to do it to someone else. Good rule of thumb.
Don't you love how the OP quoted and responded to half my post but not the other half?

He knows he would be pissed if the shoe were on the other foot. Ipso facto, he knows it's wrong and just made this thread hoping someone would provide him with some moral justification for something he knows he shouldn't be doing.

End thread.
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Pig
11-23-2010 at 05:58 PM.
11-23-2010 at 05:58 PM.
Quote from serra :
is he married? Unsure
Yeah....to the hutch....forever...until a nailremover do them apart

Quote from dalokgawd :
Don't you love how the OP quoted and responded to half my post but not the other half?

He knows he would be pissed if the shoe were on the other foot. Ipso facto, he knows it's wrong and just made this thread hoping someone would provide him with some moral justification for something he knows he shouldn't be doing.

End thread.
Nope, I don't love it Nono2
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Last edited by Pig November 23, 2010 at 05:58 PM.
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coulditbeSatan
11-23-2010 at 06:08 PM.
11-23-2010 at 06:08 PM.
Quote from burninator :
You're having sexual intercourse with someone with whom you are not monogamous and who has no moral compunction as regards lying her sexual partners about the nature of her sexual activity.

I mean, I grew up in Georgia, but even we learned about this in the 6th grade. Huh
I understand what you meant but she is not having sex with her husband or anyone other than me.

Quote from SlicKitty :
Well, I'm so glad you asked!

How would you feel if someone did this to one of them? If they married, gained some weight, lost some hair, but still loved their wife, who decided she no longer loved them. Perhaps it was your mother. Of course, that's her prerogative. She's welcome to have sex with someone else, but wouldn't she owe them the courtesy of telling your father or your brother that she's doing that? You're not thinking of the husband as a person with rights. You're thinking of him as some useless appendage to the woman that you want it to be okay to boink.
.I'd stay out of it. If my mom was doing something like this and I knew about it....might tell her she should tell dad but I would not make that decision for her. Mainly if it were the same situation I would probably be glad she was finding some happiness.

Again it's not my responsibility or place to tell her husband anything.

Quote :
As you said in your original post, the onus of honesty in the marriage lies with her.
Yup.

Quote from serra :
is he married? Unsure
I'm not married! Yahoo! How YOU doin'? Evillaugh
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SlicKitty
11-23-2010 at 06:11 PM.
11-23-2010 at 06:11 PM.
Quote from coulditbeSatan :
.I'd stay out of it. If my mom was doing something like this and I knew about it....might tell her she should tell dad but I would not make that decision for her. Mainly if it were the same situation I would probably be glad she was finding some happiness.
You wouldn't think less of the woman/wife for not having the courage to tell her husband and you wouldn't think less of the guy boinking her, knowing she's married to your brother/father?

I would.

I think a little less of you, now. You might not care, but I do.

He's going to be hurt at some point anyway. I wouldn't think less if she could just have the courage to tell him that she is ready to move on and she has moved on...and then deal with the consequences. And if you could have the courage to tell her that you need her to do that to be fair.
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Last edited by SlicKitty November 23, 2010 at 06:14 PM.
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coulditbeSatan
11-23-2010 at 06:25 PM.
11-23-2010 at 06:25 PM.
Quote from SlicKitty :
You wouldn't think less of the woman/wife for not having the courage to tell her husband and you wouldn't think less of the guy boinking her, knowing she's married to your brother/father?

I would.
I didn't say I would be thrilled with it. I said I wouldn't make her decisions for her.

Quote :
I think a little less of you, now. You might not care, but I do.
Well nobody here has any reason to think more of me before now anyway! laugh out loud

I'm a good person though. Not hurting her or her husband. Not being dishonest or using anyone. Not being unfair or leading her on.

Quote :
He's going to be hurt at some point anyway. I wouldn't think less if she could just have the courage to tell him that she is ready to move on and she has moved on...and then deal with the consequences. And if you could have the courage to tell her that you need her to do that to be fair.
Courage really isn't the thing. I don't think I should go into her reasons though because that is going too far with her personal identifying information and that would betray her trust.
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Joined Dec 2004
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burninator
11-23-2010 at 06:25 PM.
11-23-2010 at 06:25 PM.
Quote from coulditbeSatan :
I understand what you meant but she is not having sex with her husband or anyone other than me.
Of course she's not, sweetie. Comfort
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The Mistress of All Evil!
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Maleficent
11-23-2010 at 06:25 PM.
11-23-2010 at 06:25 PM.
Quote from Iaaaiws :

Now if you just said you were looking to get a little and weren't interested in a relationship with her then at least you could rationalize it off as being part of your selfish adolescent mentality.
Iagree

Quote from Pig :
I say this with utmost respect to you z2g - that's a dumbass way to look at it....
laugh out loud

Quote from coulditbeSatan :
True. There would be nothing to gain by her telling her husband other than hurting him and causing a crisis in their marriage. That's not necessary so why do it? Unless she wants to tell him I just don't see it.
Oh yeah, TOTALLY not necessary. Why should you ever be up front and honest with anyone when you can sneak around behind their back and screw them over? laugh out loud

Or their wife, in this case.

You are so Cloud9 with this girl that you don't even have any clue how delusional you sound. You're just trying to justify it, and you know it - otherwise, this thread wouldn't have ever been created.

Quote from burninator :
You're having sexual intercourse with someone with whom you are not monogamous and who has no moral compunction as regards lying her sexual partners about the nature of her sexual activity.

I mean, I grew up in Georgia, but even we learned about this in the 6th grade. Huh
nod

Quote from SlicKitty :
You wouldn't think less of the woman/wife for not having the courage to tell her husband and you wouldn't think less of the guy boinking her, knowing she's married to your brother/father?

I would.

I think a little less of you, now. You might not care, but I do.

He's going to be hurt at some point anyway. I wouldn't think less if she could just have the courage to tell him that she is ready to move on and she has moved on...and then deal with the consequences. And if you could have the courage to tell her that you need her to do that to be fair.
Definitely. You're cowards, liars, and sneaks, the both of you.
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